Happy Valentine's Day! Today is the day we celebrate all the love in our lives whether it's romantic, familial, or platonic. Personally I think today is a little bit overrated with the roses and the chocolates and the giant teddy bears. You shouldn't really need a day to but someone you care about something sweet. But regardless, I do like this holiday and there are no shortage of romance movies you could watch. Here are a few of my favorite

1.Stuck in Love. 

This is one of my favorite movies ever! It's got everything you could ever really want in a movie. It's cute and funny and tragic. 

2.10 Things I Hate About You. 

How could you not love this movie? 

3.Friends.

Okay I know this is not a movie and I now it's not really in the rom-com section either. But, hear me out on this, it's a great thing to watch with your friends on Valentine's day. It's the perfect binge watching show. 

4. Silver Linings Playbook

I love J-Law and her role in this movie is amazing! This is heavier than the other movies I'll list but I think the story is amazing and why not watch it today?

5. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

This movie is hilarious and adorable!

6.Imagine Me and You

It's a cute rom-com that I absolutely adore! Some of my favorite quotes come from this movie. 

"Don't Forget me."

"I won't remember anything else"

7. Love, Rosie

I rented this movie last year over summer break and I fell in love with it! It takes place in both America and Britain. Its a great story about being in love your best friend at all the wrong times. Plus I'm a sucker for British accents. 

8.50 First Dates

It's one of the few Adam Sandler movies I actually like. 

9. Like Crazy

This is a kind of poetic story about love and relationships and how life makes those relationships work. Its a little frustrating at times but I honestly really enjoyed it!

10. He's Just Not That Into You

Because how could I not list this movie? 

11. Spanglish.

I first watched this movie with my sister and didn't really get the plot but now that I'm older I really enjoy this movie. 

12. Rent.

Not gonna lie I did cry. I also ended up singing a lot of the songs from this musical. Also not really ashamed about either statement. This is a great movie about a group of people struggling with life but trying to make the most f it by having fun and falling in love. 

13. The Prince and Me.

Don't judge. This is a cute movie,

14. Shakespeare in Love.

How could I not list this movie! It's a tragic love story about two people who can't be together. Sound familiar?

Student Survival Guide

School can be the source of a lot of stress, anxiety, and other not so pleasant emotions. School can become crazy and that craziness can be a defining part of your life as a student. Since I am a senior this year I figured I know a thing or two about dealing with all the crazy. So here are some tips and tricks to help you survive school, maybe even thrive. Today I'm going to talk about tests, friends, orginization and other random stuff.

Back To School Series:
Day One:Back to School: Books and Movies
Day Two: Mixtape Monday + Organization
Day Three: Student Survival Guide
Day Four: Goals For the 2015 School Year
Day Five: Cute Hair Styles
Day Six: Open Letter To Students

Random Tips:

• Don't try and be cool and fit in. It's not worth it. Just be you and find people you can be you around. That "cool" circle is not as awesome as it seems. 
• Makes lots and lots of playlists! Trust me it's cathartic and helpful. Plus they're awesome when you do have to work late. 
• Dress in what makes you feel comfortable and happy. 
• For me that means dressing up, wearing skirts and dresses and all that jazz. If you feel like you look good, you'll feel good. What you wear affects how you act. 
• Takes a lot of pictures. Trust me when you feel nostalgic you'll want to look through some pics.
• Say yes to going out with friends. Even if you don't feel like going out, it usually ends up being worth it. 
• Follow some Studyblrs on tumblr (if you have one). They post a lot of helpful things plus it's motivating to see other people get so intense about studying! Plus they have lots of stuff to help you get orginized. 
• I follow: Studivation, Lil Study Corner, Me Learning to Study, Study Blog, The Orginized Student
• Follow my tumblr here
• Always have perfume and deordorant handy. Trust me this is just a necessity.
• Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. A lot of the memories that make me smile or laugh started because I decided to ignore my shyness and anxiety and just go for it. 
• Youtube has a lot of tutorials for everything you need. Use 'em.
• Crash Course is crazy helpful!
• You can often find power points or outlines for textbooks here. I find them really helpful!
• Don't join a billion clubs because you think it looks good for colleges. 
• Join a select few that you feel the most passionate about.,
• Maybe even start one.
• Always have a person you can talk to.
• I can not stress how important this is. There are going to be days that suck so much thats it's impossible to bear it all on your own.
• It can be a friend, a sibling, a parent, or a therpist. It's important to have someone to listen to you vent and offer some advice without being judgemental
• Priotoize your health first,then your relationships, then school. 
• How to be a Happier Person
• Let's talk about health
• This post has some meditation stuff for those of us with anxiety! It's super helpful!
• Have lazy days.
• These are vital for mental health. It's important to set aside time for yourself.
• Reward yourself after a test or at the end of a project or just because.
• Watch some movies, read a book, eat some brownies, bake some cookies, stay in your P.J's all day,

Lets Talk About Health

I have this habit of wanting to take care of others and forgetting to take care of myself. I forget that I need people to listen to me vent about life, I forget that I need to make sure I eat well. I forget that I need to be active. I forget that my health is my own hands. It's up to me to make sure i'm okay and take care of myself. There are plenty of ways you can empower yourself to take charge of your life and body and it starts with you making sure that you're taking care of yourself.

That being said I want to say Happy National Girlfriend Day!!!




I decided to write up a post in celebration of today of ways to take care of your body and mind so that you can do you and be happy. It's important to remember that our health is in our health and it's vital that we make time to have check ups, go to the doctor. I am in charge of my body and what goes into it, what happens to it, and how I use it. I want to empower you to remember that your body is yours and you gotta take care of yourself because you matter! This world is bonkers and cray, things are bound to get hard but don't forget to make yourself and your health a priority! So as women in a crazy world lets stand together and take care of our bodies, minds, and work towards be happy! Now without further ado here are a few health stuff I thought I would share today.

• Eating healthy isn't about restricting your diet or limiting yourself. It's about eating things that are good for you and even some things that aren't so good for you. It's about finding a balance. Here are some recipes i've been LOVING lately!
• Take some time and make yourself a pizza! You can add all the veggies yourself and make sure the sauce, cheese, and bread is natural, organic or whatever you like. I like these recipes: Veggie Grilled Pizza , Pan Pizza
• Smoothies are a great way to incorporate fruit into your diet and maybe even sneak in some veggies. I usually use plain yogurt, some orange juice, and the fruit of my choice to make my smoothies. But here are a couple that seem delish! Blackberry Green Smoothie, Peach Pie Smoothie
• The next little tidbit is exercise. Now I'm pretty bad at actually being an active person but I try and I think we should all give it a go. There's no need to go all crazy and become a fitness guru when it's not your thing.
• What's important is that you find small moments to be active. So go walk your dog. Take a stroll at the park and bring some books to read! Maybe play with some younger family members.
• If you, like me, find it hard to get motivated, get together with some friends and take a Zumba class, or try some yoga, or just hit the gym. And if taking classes is too much, youtube is a pretty great resource! I like X HIT and Yoga With Adriene 
• Okay my last tip, life advice for today, is to make sure to take care of your mind too. Practice self care. Take time to just destress, whether that means watching some T.V or reading a book. Take time to relax and not worry about life for a few moments. 
• You can try some mediations or deep breathing exercises to help calm you down and relax you. These are great if you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks: Guided Meditations

Okay so here a few more resources you might want to check out from Oscar, health insurance company. They actually created this infographic which is pretty cool if I do say so myself( if I do say so myself, if I do say so myself). They provide health insurance in New York and New Jersey. They help encourage an empower people to take care of themselves and encourage them to be proactive about their health. 

Stay Gold, 

Motivational Monday #6

"Give into love or live in fear. No other path. No other way. No day but today". I watched Rent the other day. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. It's on netflix. Its amazing. And if you like Rent you'll like The Normal Heart, it's heartbreaking, but so good.

Anyways, for me summer is a blur of late nights, netflix, books, and unfortunately this summer i've added college apps and summer assignments. FUN! *she said sarcasm dripping from her voice onto honey coated shards of glass*. So in my life as a studious student and lazy bum i've realized that I haven't done too much living. Like I have maybe a handful of decent stories to tell my grandkids about. I want to just be open and be able to love my life, myself, and the people I surround myself with.At the end of the day I don't think anyone could ask for more than that. And right now I have to change my attitude from one of fear to one of love and happiness. I don't mean to sound like a hallmark card or anything, but I feel like because of my anxious persona I focus on the negatives of life, of people, of myself. I prepare for the worst and never expect the best. I need to change that because living in a constant state of nerves, fear, and negativity is poisonous and will ultimately stop me from living my life, from taking the steps necessary to make sure I take myself down a road I want to go down. That being said, i'm not going to abandon all my fear, after all a little bit is healthy, safe even. What I need to focus on is letting people in, letting myself be more open, and learn to love where i'm at. After All you're only 17 once.

 I like to make plans. I schedule my day out so that I make sure I get done what needs to get done.That's not the worse way to live but I need to get my head out of dreams of yesterday and visions of tomorrow and focus on what I have right in front of me. I think a lot of people are like that. Forgetting that this moment in time exists. Some are too focused an what the future will bring, or what you can procrastinate and make a future problem. Others look backwards so much they are constantly running into things and falling on their ass. I seem to share both of these problems. Rent tought me that happiness isn't found in what your life is, what it's made up of, so much as what you do with it. So you might not have much, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun, make memories, or be happy, just like being rich doesn't guarantee those things. But if you use what you have, enjoy it and just do you, and love you, then you are solid. So yeah. This today we all should try to live in today, be open, and work toward happiness by loving ourselves, our lives, and the people who we're close too.And if you're not happy where you're at in life you  need to actively be working to change that, and If you're not happy around certain people, then maybe it's time for some feelings talks or even some goodbyes. I guess what I want to say is that we need to stop living in the shadows because fear taught us to be afraid of the light.

Stay Gold,

Motivational Monday #5

So I am not dead. But i'm very sorry that I've not been posting. I blame school and testing. But now that summer's started I will be posting on schedule :) Okay but enough about me.

So this is probably the nostalgia talking, but I picked this quote because this summer is the last summer I have to just be, next year i'll be picking out a bean bag for my dorm in college and  I will be figuring out my classes and I would have said goodbye to my favorite teachers and my friends. It's more than a little scary. But with all the day dreaming about the future comes the nostalgic, sometimes tear filled glimpses into the past. This includes me cleaning out papers and binders and folders from high school and middle school. Yes I am a pack rat. And I found little notes and quotes and random little writings. I kept them. Mostly because it's nice to remember the stupid things we talked about, or the stupid boys we all liked, and the not stupid quotes that I still love. And maybe I realize that they aren't that stupid. These tiny things made me happy. These tiny things made me remember when my friend and I went to yogurtland without parent permission and ran all the way back to her apartment only to find my mom waiting for me... It made me remember about how my friends and I would sit in a circle and talk about our lives. About how we would fangirl about TVD, Once Upon a Time, Reign, etc. About how we've been sitting at the same bench for three years. And how we have one more year filled with more tiny memories that will stay with me like the post its I found in my freshman year binder.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that life moves fast and you have to look back sometimes and remember the good stuff, the happy stuff, and sometimes (most of the time) you have to notice the small things because they tend to be the more important things. I mean do you think i'm going to remember what I got on my chapter ten test in AP U.S History, Probably not. But I'll probably still remember how my friend drew me a starbucks frap with my name spelled very, very wrong, because I complained about how starbucks people can never spelled my name right. Yet  at the time my grade mattered infinitely more than the post it. So enjoy the small things, the things you might not find important at the time, the things that make you smile during the day. Because when it's all said and done those are the thing you remember and want to remember.

Teaser Tuesday : We Should Hang Out Sometime

 "To paraphrase Elie Wiesel, the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is indifference. Having no feelings at all. Not caring either way. Hate at least requires a foundation of emotional involvment" pg. (151)

Add it Goodreads

Letter to December #10

Dear December,

Sometimes all you need is a nice big breath, a cup of tea, and an afternoon of nothingness. Now, I've always been one to keep busy. I like running around doing errands, making plans, scheduling things etc. But for a moment, just a tiny one I sat down, tea in hand, and just relaxed and surprisingly enough I enjoyed my moment of nothingness. 

Of course, December, it didn't last long. I went to target not soon after to go Christmas shopping. With finals done, school on pause, I finally have time to get presents and make them. This is my favorite time of the year and it almost makes up for the head splitting-ness of finals week. But it got me thinking, maybe it's time for me to take a deep breath and look around me. I don't think I do it enough. 

People are always doing things. That, I think sometimes, we get so focused on tasks, that we forget the big picture. We forget that we are living breathing people who are living their lives. I know it's cliche but I don't think anyone really stops to smell the roses anymore. And then at random moments, we'll just think "Holy Shit, This is my life". For me it hit me yesterday. With a mug in hand, and nothing to do, it hit me that this is actually what i'm doing with my life, my time, my energy. And I wish I would have stopped more and just taken in the moments, instead of living life on super speed, busy as a bumblebee. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I need to be more in touch with the big picture of it all. I focus to much on the tiny details that won't matter in ten years. I focus on the small things so much I forget that I need to take a breather sometimes. But better late than never, right December?

Love Always,

Letter to December #5

Dear December,

Sometimes you don't even realize how fast time goes until your standing and wondering where exactly it went. You kind of snuck up on me. I was just minding my own business thinking the end of the year was so far off, but in reality its not. Now I can feel the pressure to do well on my finals even more than I did last year. I'm kind of freaking out. 

It's starting too feel more and more christmas-y everyday. My family and I put up our Christmas Tree on Saturday. I decorated it with my mum, while everyone else slacked off. That's okay, I don't mind. Decorating is one of my favorite things. Once I finished the tree I put up tinsel and lights and ornaments and wreaths all around the living room. I went a little crazy. But I do that almost every year. I decorated my room as well. I have a mini Christmas tree, Christmas lights up with ornaments hanging them as well as tinsel. I LOVE IT. 

Isn't this beautiful! Lol this isn't mine, i'll put up a pic soon!

Everything is moving by so fast December, I don't know how to hold on to anything anymore. It seems the more I cling to my memories of yesterdays the faster time escapes me. I guess that just means I have to be more focused on the here and now. Like I was yesterday when I was trying to make it seem like Christmas threw up in my house. I even changed my screen saver to a Christmas print thing.
I was caught in the moment, letting life engulf me, letting Christmas thoughts whirl around my head. Maybe I should listen to Elsa and let go a little bit. 

Love Always, 

Blogtober: Dear Younger Me

Hey. Hows elementary school going? How's long division coming? If it's not going to well, it's okay, you'll end up using a calculator anyways. What about english? Still writing 6 page essays? Good. It's nice isn't it, writing. I'll tell you a secret, you end up writing more as you get older and *whispers* you even run a blog!!! Amazing I know! Enjoy being in the single digits while you can. Run free and be crazy. Let your imagination run the world around you, reality can wait, when you're this young. I know, I know, you're not "young", but a few years from now, you'll agree. Just don't try to be older than you are. Just stay what you are. You're not too old to play pretend. You're not too old to play hide and seek. So go ahead and just be you're elementary school self!

Middle School. It sucks. I know. And you know what, it doesn't really get much better. You do meet some pretty cool people though. So even if middle school life sucks, just remember you have people. I know you're sad right now. And it's a scary sad. I know that life isn't what you want it to be, and that sometimes you don't know what to do with yourself, and I know this sounds like B.S but just smile because you'll be okay. Maybe a little scarred, a little charred, but okay. I know that right now you probably don't feel like enough. But you are. I promise. It's hard for you to feel that you are, but just keep telling yourself that because one day you'll look in the mirror and believe it. So life sucks now. But don't forget you have people. You have really awesome friends. Some pretty cool siblings. You'll survive and maybe not be wiser, but definitely stronger.

The beginning of high school sucked. I know. I've been there. You were a shy girl thrown into a place where being social is essential to survival. And sometimes people suck and they ignore you, when all you're doing is being nice and three years later you still kind of hold a grudge. And that's okay. That's high school for you. I know you're waiting for some great friends, and that waiting really sucks and whoever says they don't mind it, is lying. Patience is a virtue but it can also be torture waiting. It'll be worth it though. You're friends are awesome. I know you had to leave your old friends, but those who really loved you and whom you loved are still friends with you. Whoever says otherwise is lying to you. So be weird, crazy, wild even, you'll find people who will accept you. Word of advice though, forgive people, but don't forget what they did, it's important to know where you can place your trust.

Alright young me. It's time for future you to get back to her life. The life that is pretty much not what you wanted as a 6 year old, or what you thought high school life would be like when you were in 7th grade. 9th grade me. You got it right, for the most part. Yes, I still go to BHS and no, I did not end up taking 6 AP classes, I'm taking 4. Life is not like the movies. High school especially. And that's okay. You're working hard to get where you want to be. Don't ever be sorry for that.

Love Always,

Blogtober: Dear Future Me,

I'm studying for my Unit 2 Psychology exam tomorrow. I'm so tired I think its quite possible i'll keel over at any point and just start sleeping. Today has pretty much just been about school and the art of being tired yet lucid enough to learn. I've often day dreamed about the future in class. I've dreamt up how my life would look ten years from now and to be quite honest it changes every time. When I was little 26 year old me seemed so old and so distant I couldn't even really imagine myself that age. Now it's still far away but I have this vague sense of what might have happened and how far I am from my goal, my dream, the reason I try in school right now.

I've imagined myself in New York, yet I've also daydreamed myself in L.A, sometimes even in England. By now you probably graduated from university so Congrats!! You are now the third person in our immediate family to go and graduate from college! I bet you Mom cried. And i bet because you saw her cry, you cried, and because you cried various other people cried. And suddenly there were happy tears everywhere! At least that's how I pictured it. You might be frequenting cafe's, relishing in independence, or maybe you're visiting mom every other weekend because you miss the food. Both of which your 16 year old self is okay with. Maybe you're already a published author, Maybe you're still struggling, in which case KEEP TRYING. Dreams don't work if you don't. Happiness is a journey not a destination. Okay i'm done being a Hallmark card for now.

I hope you have a better sense of what you're doing because i'm not really sure what i'm doing with my life half the time. Maybe it's because I need time to see how important High School is or something but sometimes I swear I feel so very lost. I know what I want it's just that getting there is hard and sometimes I lose sight of my end goal and just meander my way down the path. Maybe this being lost thing is just an angsty teen thing. Or maybe it's not. Guess only time will tell. And maybe you already know.

I guess it almost be time for the high school reunion huh? Bet you're feeling old right now. Time to get all nostalgic about high school and the people we know/knew.Its bittersweet knowing that in a couple years the chances of me actually retaining the friendships I have now are slim. Eventually they will be people in pictures, people laughing in my memories. But that will be that. I'm pretty sure you're feeling old right now. I hope I get to find new people. And I hope I still keep some of my old peeps.

So my question to you, future me, is would 16 year old me be happy with you? Are you making me proud? Are you still as cheesy as I am? Reading YA as fervently? Still into indie music? Maybe as you're reading this you're listening to my old high school playlists. Amazing just how much a song can be. It can be part of memories and feelings and action.  I've always wanted to grow up to be a strong, independent, girl with dreams bigger than the moon, yet making them come true. That's who i'm working on being. I think I saw somewhere on tumblr a quote that read "be the person you needed when you were younger". Are you that person?

The big thing, the most important thing, is knowing that i'm happy. That somewhere down the line I find that invigorating happiness that comes from being alive and letting life engulf you. And that, that happiness is around me all the time. Not that i'm not happy now, but it's hard to think happy thoughts when all you can think of is a)how tired you b)how hard your test is and c)will this look good on college apps. In between that it's hard to actually let life just work it's magic and make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I do have happy moments though and they'v been pretty awesome. Their just a little harder to come by. Then again it's junior year. That's just what happens.  I just hope that me working now, and me working 5 years down the line, will work in getting you happy. To the place we both know I want to be in.

Maybe happy means that i'm not where i'd thought i'd be. Maybe it means i'm somewhere random. Maybe it means that i'm working two jobs. Maybe that means i'm not published. Maybe it means I am. What ever it is I hope I'm happy. And if I find someone to be happy with too, that even more awesome.

So go be happy future me. Go be you. Go do whatever it is you do with your day. Or go do some crazy shit! Drink some tea, have some coffee. Maybe do something spontaneous like go visit Alaska!

Hosted by The Daily Tay and Helene in Between

Love Always,

Dear Cole St. Clair

     It's currently past midnight. And I'm awake thinking about you and Isabel and wolves. And strangely enough I want some french toast and a mug filled with chamomile tea. I'm actually really tired and kind of want to sleep, yet I don't feel like surrendering today yet. I think you'd get that. So I decided that I would write you a letter, because I think you of all people will understand my midnight ramblings and because I just finished Sinner and you're on my mind.
     How's Jeremy? And Isabel? Leon? You know I've been thinking, I've lived so close to L.A and yet I haven't seen much of it. Maybe I should take your advice and become a tourist in my own city. After all, how else am I going to see it's pretty facade. I'll keep you posted. I'm listening to High Hopes by Kodaline right now. I think I have a serious thing for sad and depressing songs. But I think you'd like it. It's sad and it's got the melancholy hum that just draw you in. There's no booming bass or synth beats, just some drums, piano and a yearning voice.
      Weird how active your brain can be, even after the whole worlds fast asleep. I'm kind of waiting for some deep thoughts to happen, but my brain is stuck on food and you. Mostly food. This is the moment I wish my house didn't have suck creaky, squeaky floors.
      I know I've said this before, but characters are the voices that bring color in our minds. I read somewhere that sometimes you can even start acting like your favorite characters. I can seriously say that I've channeled my inner Cole St Clair this week. I've been sassy, witty, and been a little sad. I think part of the reason I love you so much, why I connect with you so much, is because you're fucked up and you're trying to fix yourself. For some reason, this week, reading this book I feel a little happy if not a little hopeful. You're trying to put the pieces back together and they might be a little ragged but they're there. And I love you for trying and making it happen. I see you and Isabel working so hard to be happy and be yourselves that it makes me want to try harder too. I'm rooting for you. I hope you're rooting for me too. So thanks for reminding me that it's okay to be sad, to cry, and to be a little messed up. *hugs you*
       I know you probably think this whole letter is a little cheesy, bit random, but hopefully a little endearing and nice. I have this picture of you in my head after your parents came back running away into your bathroom wanting to die. Saying you were born to die. I know you're happy now running out of cars while on the freeway, hanging out with the always fashionable Isabel, and doing music stuff. So for me, as a reader, to watch you go from a very low low to a happy ending, was a happy thing.
      I love how you made me laugh and cry and feel everything imaginable. I got a lot of weird looks in class whenever I laughed so i'm pretty sure people think i'm a little crazy. But that's all right, I was a little bit crazy before I read Sinner. Probably more than a little. So tomorrow i'm going to make myself some french toast and some tea. Shame you and Isabel won't be there with me. I make some killer french toast :).
     So this is it Mr. Cole St. Clair, this is the end of my ramblings. I'm not going to bed yet, but I think I've said all I need to write now. Maybel i'll write you another letter. Maybe this'll be the only one I ever write to you.  I just want to say I love you, keep on being crazy, and stay happy.

What did you guys think of this letter? About Cole St. Clair? 

Love, 

Book Talk: The Isobel Journal

Release Date: August 13, 2014
Book: The Isobel Journal
Author: Isobel Harrop
Number of Pages:210
Source: Netgalley (Note: I got this in exchange for an honest review)

The Basics:THE ISOBEL JOURNAL is no ordinary snapshot of a contemporary teenage life. A charming and vivid narrative scrapbook of the eighteen-year-old author's sketches, mini-graphic novels, photographs and captions, it captures her wit, her observations and her creative talent as she takes us through the three central themes in her life: 'Love', 'Friends, Art and Otters' and 'Me'.

Dear Students,

      School. For a lot of people the word alone is enough to make us upset, angry, nervous. I get nervous. I'm about to be a junior and i can't tell you how nerve wreaking it is to even think about what school is going to be like this year. This is the year that counts the most. The year that I'm betting everything on. And if it doesn't go well i can kiss going to my dream college goodbye. Maybe I sound melodramatic and whatever but the thing is there is so much pressure on every student to do well, because college. And it's crazy to think that we're living our teen years in our room, locked away from the world outside because we have tests and projects and let's not forget the drama the inevitably comes with having friends.For my brother, he's going into high school with no friends, and that's tough. I went through it and it's not something i would wish on anyone. But you're never the new kid for long, and you will find a good group of people you like or at least can tolerate.
       It's a lot for anyone but we deal with it because we have to. I know that school sucks sometimes and it's stressful 99% of the time. I just wanted to let you know that it's okay to stress cry and have panic attacks and freak out. I know what it's like to feel like your drowning and your stuck and oh so lost. I get it and it's a terrible feeling. I'm sure you've been through it to. Let me just tell you this. If you honestly feel like this, then please stop what your doing and please take care of yourself. One bad grade isn't going to define you, one mistake isn't going to hold you back unless you let it. You have to remember that even when you feel like the ground is coming apart at your feet that you are more that whatever is going on at school. You are who you want to be. School plays a part in you life but it doesn't define you. If it's one in fucking morning and your tired and your sad go eat chocolate, or sleep, or read. Do something for you because trust me as important as school is, your health and well being is more important. Remember that for me.
       High school sucks and it's not something the majority of us look forward to. But  please try. It'll all be worth it when your doing what you want to do with you life. And if you don't know what it is you want to do, it's okay. I'm about to get cheesy. Not that I have't been cheesy, but i'm admitting it right now. Life is about molding yourself into what you want. I sound like a walking hallmark card, but it's true. I hope that you understand that everything you do helps build your character. If you mess up, you learn to not mess up so bad next time, if your sad, then you learn how to cope. If you try new things, who knows you might discover you like apple pie more than a vanilla cupcake. So try everyday, because you can't regret it. The worst that can happen is a bad day.  Also don't let anyone make you feel bad because your bad day isn't as bad as someone else because you will still feel the way you feel regardless. Every one has their own problems so respect that you might not always know what someone else is going through. And in the words of the very wise Eeyore"The nice thing about rain is that it always stops. Eventually".
      For those of us who don't like school because of the people there, just remember that at the end of the day their words are just words. Don't give those horrible utterances power, because the words or the people who say it don't deserve. If it helps, remember that they will probably serve you fries in the future. Or better yet you'll have such a great life after high school you won't even remember their names. Embrace your weirdness. My sister told me that your weirdness is ultimately what makes you, you and not just another carbon cut out of what everyone else wants to be. So be you. And if you like wearing all black, go for it, if you like having hot pink hair, go for it, if you like girls, awesome, if you like boys, awesome, if you have no idea, you'll figure it out I promise. Real family and true friends will love you for whoever it is you are and will accept you regardless.
     I probably sound like dramatic or over the top, but the thing is I know so many people who just hate school and hate what comes with it and all i want is to help or let you know that no matter what you need to put yourself first and be good to yourself. For me I have really bad panic attacks, and I have to deal with it every day. Granted that has to do more with me than with school, but school doesn't help. And i just figured that if somehow someone read this and was like "i get this" and feel better about themselves or things they've done than I've done something good. Whether you feel nervous or angry or lost or unsure or whatever it is your feeling its okay because somehow things will work out. You will make things work out for you. So yeah.
       All in all good luck to you, my friend. Be awesome and be who you are because you can be. It's that simple. people just like to complicate things. So study hard, take care of yourself, and have a good school year and remember you will survive and you can do this!

All the best,

Top Ten Blogging Confessions

It's Tuesday, you know what that means. Its Top Ten Time :). This is a meme hosted by the lovely and amazing  The Broke and Bookish. This week's theme is Top Ten Blogging Confession. So here it is!

1. I don't like planning out what I'm reading and when I'm reading it. Its one thing if i decide what book I'm reading first from my stack of library book, its completely different than saying this week it's book A and next week book B. For some reason I just hate doing that. I like reading books that catch my attention and seem interesting and sometimes that means not reading that book i said i was going to read. Part of the fun of reading is finding books that you like and reading what you want when you want to. 

2. I like going to the library and checking out books more than buying my own. I love going through the passageways looking for books. And a lot of the times I find things that i wouldn't normally find at a Barnes and Noble because it's not as popular, or it older. I love the surprises the library holds. Plus it's free books. Who can say no to that?

3. I like book marking pages in my books that have cool quotes that I like. I love quotes. I'm obsessed with them. And the thing about books is that it offers a lot of thoughts and saying from different points of view.Thus the perfect place for quote hunting. 

4. I judge books by their cover. If the cover is ugly and terrible, its a pretty good assumption that i'm not going to read it. I know i shouldn't but it's pretty hard not to. If a book has a pretty cover and has a good summary chances are I will read it. Not that I Only read books with pretty covers but i do use covers as deal breakers when choosing between books. 

5. I love working on things in Barnes and Noble. I legit just bring my laptop, a book and buy a coffee and sit down and leave hours later. For some reason I work better that way. 

6. I don't really know anything about HTML or programming or whatever. I feel like a should, it helps make my blog better if I know a few tricks about HTML, like making banners, or buttons etc. Thankfully i won a contest over at Pure Imagination and i picked a design and she put it on my blog. However, I still want to learn things to help me be a better blogger

. 

7.I'm a hypocrite. I'm super OCD when people borrow my books, but i'm usually not as careful with them. I think it's okay if a book get's a little scratch or maybe had a dog eared page because it looks more worn, more read, which is what books are meant for. But if another person does that to my book, that's where I draw the line. I'm not entirely sure why I'm like this but for some reason I am. 

8. I read Maximum Ride when I was younger. I loved the series but after reading Fang, I just stopped. I never finished the series. Part of it was the frustration with the characters, and the part was learning that James Patterson doesn't really write his own stuff, which made me sad, and the other part was the wait was too long and I just never picked up Angel. 

9. You know how some books have novellas in between the books? You know how sometimes they put said novellas at the back of some books? Well before I had an e-reader I would go to Barnes and Noble carefully pick up the copy that had the novella and read it in store then return the book to it's shelf.

10. I love re-reading books. Like a lot. If a really love a book, i'll probably end up re-reading it. For example I've re-read Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly at least 6 times

The Spectacular Now Book Reveiw

Release date: November 1, 2008
Book: The Spectacular Now
Author: Tim Tharp
Source: I bought it from Barnes and Noble
The Basics: This National Book Award Finalist is now a major motion picture -- one of the most buzzed-about films at Sundance 2013, starring Shailene Woodley and Miles Teller.
SUTTER KEELY. HE’S the guy you want at your party. He’ll get everyone dancing. He’ ll get everyone in your parents’ pool. Okay, so he’s not exactly a shining academic star. He has no plans for college and will probably end up folding men’s shirts for a living. But there are plenty of ladies in town, and with the help of Dean Martin and Seagram’s V.O., life’s pretty fabuloso, actually.Until the morning he wakes up on a random front lawn, and he meets Aimee. Aimee’s clueless. Aimee is a social disaster. Aimee needs help, and it’s up to the Sutterman to show Aimee a splendiferous time and then let her go forth and prosper. But Aimee’s not like other girls, and before long he’s in way over his head. For the first time in his life, he has the power to make a difference in someone else’s life—or ruin it forever. (goodreads.com)

My Rating: 4/5

My Musings:

     On my Top Ten Tuesday Post  I said I had a love-hate relationship with this book. Now let me explain myself. 

     This book is beyond amazing. The writing is witty, funny and eloquently written. The characters are three dimensional and you really get a feel of who they are. Not just some shallow character cut outs that you find in some books. Sutter and Aimee are incredibly likable characters. And as i said in my TTT post, I LOVE him. He made me laugh, cry which is pretty much all you can ask from a book. Sutter is guy who loves to party and drink whiskey and seven up. He seems like a simple guy but as you read the book you see all the problems that lie underneath his "I couldn't care less" facade. Enter Aimee, a complete sweetheart. She makes him happy and a good person and reminds him he isn't alone. I love their relationship for the most part. They're a really cute couple! 

     As for Aimee, I love her too. She reminds me a lot of myself and the way I act in high school. Sutter helps Aimee change for the better; he gets her to stand up for herself and follow her dreams. With Sutter she can be a normal teenager. However being a "normal" teenager also comes with drinking and partying and so forth and so on. I kind of felt that she started doing these things for Sutter more than herself. I guess we all do that sometimes, changes stuff for people we like. Not that we should have to. That part of the book did annoy me. Overall I found her to be a lovable, sweet girl who wanted to go to college, was wicked smart and is amazing!

      I liked all the other characters. Well at least as much as I was supposed to. Well I liked Ricky up until the end when he stopped being there for Sutter. Cassidy taught Sutter an important lesson, even if Sutter refuses to acknowledge it. They made good supporting characters. I also loved Bob's father-like character! Sutter really needed him and I liked the scenes they had together.

     I liked the story line a lot. I loved Sutter! I laughed and cried and wanted to punch people in the face along with him. I swear he gets himself into all sorts of problems. *SPOILER*Like that fire at his sister's house! *SPOILER DONE*It was all leading up to whether or not Sutter was going to change, whether or not he was going to try and fight for his future instead of just now. I kept waiting for something. For him to realize that he needs to fight for his future and focus on that for a change. *MAJOR SPOILER* IF YOU HAVEN"T READ THE BOOK WALK AWAY NOW THEN COME BACK WHEN THIS POST TURNS BACK INTO GREY COLORED TEXT. 

     OK so here's my only real problem with the book. The ending. If you've read it you know what i'm talking about. of course you've read it because if you haven't your ruining the book for yourself. I wished that Sutter would have changed his mind about living in the "now" and instead decided to go after Aimee (who was probably heartbroken when she finally figured it out that the boy she loves is never going to move in with her.).  It took me a while to realize what this ending actually was. It wasn't a "bad" ending. It was Sutter coming to terms with his own actions. Granted I wished for a different ending but this book is supossed to be about real life. And in real life we get sucky endings. We get endings we don't want. And that's exactly what the author was trying to show. That life sometimes ends chapters for us in really sucky ways. We just have to accept it and move on. Sutter wasn't ready to commit to Aimee and he knew better than to lead her on. He also had no future planned so he goes to a bar and drinks and he comes to terms with his spectacular now and decides it has all been worth it. 

Ok those of you that have not read it can start reading from here. Overall this a great book that is perfect for those of you that love John Green, Stephen Chbosky, and Rainbow Rowel. It will take you on an emotional roller coaster but it will leave you breathless. 

Dear Augustus Waters...

     A book should be simple right? It’s just a bunch of pages with scribbles in them. Nothing special whatsoever.  I think we both know that’s not true at all. Books carry messages and themes and motifs that we can relate to. They hold the power to make us laugh in the middle of class during a test or make us sob uncontrollably at three am. It’s kind of like when you read an Imperial Affliction. The book suddenly meant so much more than a thing with words in it, it was something kind of magical. That’s how I, and a lot of other people, feel about your story. 
   
  Your story. You deserve way more than the number of pages you got. But then I think about how many stories I've read and the lengths of each one. A short book doesn't suck because it's short. In fact, it can be amazing, full of wonder and myriads of great feats. And that super big and long book in the corner of the library, it could be the most boring thing in the history of the world. So maybe it’s not about how long your story is, but what you do with the words and pages you have? And I have to say you've done a remarkable job. I guess Gus, we just get lucky with time, with our talents and whatever, but in the end it doesn't matter if you don’t do something with it. I know you wanted to change the world, and make people remember you. In the end you did. You changed Hazel’s world, Isaac’s world, your parents’, maybe even Peter Van Houten kind of.And I think that, that is more than enough. Changing,impacting,influencing people for the better,well I think,and I’m sure many people will agree with me when I say,that’s a great way to live life.
     And outside of the book, in reality, you did leave your mark on the world. I mean come on, your trending on Twitter.  Obviously people like you. Like a lot.I guess the important thing isn't that people will remember your name but who you were as a person and your personality and whatnot. So thanks for being awesome. Don’t let that go to your head okay? Good. In the book it took 172 pages for all us readers to fall in love with you. And now you've made so many more people fall in love with you. Maybe it’s because you remind people that nice people still exist. Or maybe they just really like your somewhat pretentious but still lovable metaphors. I’m voting for the latter one.What can I say? I’m a sucker for guys who use figurative language in their day to day lives.
     I'm writing this at 1:00 am and I just ate a box of starbursts and I’m crying. Now I’m a professional fangirl and I tend to overreact just a tad when it comes to my favorite books and my favorite characters. Just ask anyone of my friends. But see the thing is characters,to me and a lot of other people, aren't just words on a page,people on a screen. They’re real people. They are as real as the book sitting on my desk and the person living next door to me.So you were my friend while I read the book and watched the movie and even after, and maybe I sound a little weird when I say this, but like I said I get overly attached to characters and I wouldn't have it any other way. Not because I don’t have friends. Because I do, I totally do. But because I love being connected to those whom I read about. There are some fictional deaths that you just can’t get over. Yours is one of them.  Maybe it’s because you seemed so real, or because we could all relate to you.  But either way your death broke our hearts. It was like losing a friend. But you, you reminded us that we don’t need to do amazing things to be amazing we just have to be good people and be remarkable for the people we love. And that’s more than enough.   
    I've been thinking a lot about what Hazel said about infinities. About how some infinities are smaller than others. I agree with her. Sometimes forevers aren’t forever and sometimes they far longer than eternity. I’m so happy that you got a small infinity with Hazel, your perfect girl. I guess what I’m trying to say is that each one of us who read this book, or saw the movie, or both, got to part of this small little infinity too. We got a mini infinity filled with Hazel’s words, your metaphors and Isaac's humor. And I guess I’m thankful for that. I think we all are.   
    So Gus, I wrote you this letter because I needed you to know what you and this story meant to me and people like me. And you mean a lot to us. You've all shown us what a great life is and what it needs to be and what it doesn't. This letter is kind of jumbled and all over the place but it’s like you said, “My thought are stars I cannot fathom into constellations". Gus, what is there left to say but you made me smile more than any other book character ever and like I said before, I’m glad John Green wrote this book and gave us readers a small infinity with you and Hazel.