First Motivational Monday of the year! To be quite frank it's the first one in a long time. Recently I've started my second semester of my senior year. This means two things.
1) Senoritis is starting to hit me.
2) I'm really nostalgic.
The first thing kinda gives me more time to think therefore increasing the rate of the second thing. If that makes sense. I've played most of my high school life safe. I've focused on trying to get into different colleges, dreaming of my future college days. However, I've had my fair share of failures. I've failed at tiny things that only I remember and I've failed spectacularly that still haunt me to this day. But those moments I think have created stories and shaped me.

So this week go do you. Be happy, take failure in stride, have pride in your successes. Go make stories that you can tell your grand kids too. Failure is not a bad thing, it's a learning experience, a funny story, or both.

Goals for the 2015 School Year

So I've been thinking a lot about school. I've been thinking about how crazy my life gets, how crazy I get. Then I get really, really nervous. While I'm super psyched to start my senior year i'm plagued by my fears and anxieties. Then I decided that I needed to stop being so scared about what tomorrow was going to bring and just enjoy today. I needed to learn to let go and just breath. There are a lot of things I need to work on this school year.That got me thinking, why not just start a list of goals and things to improve or change this school year. Here are my goals for this school year.

1. Stop being so apologetic and just be fearlessly me. I'm a shy person and that is probably never really going to change but I don't have to be sorry about the way I am. I'm proud of who I am, I'm the first to fangirl over Harry Potter and freak out over my latest OTP. But I feel like I need to take that confidence and bring it to a bigger scale. I need to be unafraid to be myself in a world that asks me to be small and quiet. I am tired of making myself smaller for other people, toning myself down because I'm afraid of being too much. So this year I'm done trying to cater to others and just be loud and crazy (if I feel like it)
2. Talk to people more. It's not going to kill me to strike a conversation with someone in class. It's not going to be the end of the world if someone doesn't like me. I'm going to try and talk to people more, try and make some new friends while I'm it. Though as a shy girl, i'm probably going to take baby steps with this. 
3. Take care of myself more. Lately I've talked a lot about practicing self care, about putting yourself first. I'm the first to admit that I tend to want to take care of other people before myself. I know that I have a bad habit of putting school ahead of my own needs. I'm a work in progress and while I am taking care of myself I know I could be doing a much better job at it.
4. Get grades I'm happy with. Every year I set the bar high. I want straight A's and I'm going to work my butt of to get them but if the best I can do is a B i'm going to be happy with that. Over the past year I've learned that we are more than the value we assign to a red mark on a test. I've learned to be okay with the best I can do instead of beating myself up because I'm not good enough. 
• This includes AP tests and SAT scores. 
5. Wear outfits I feel great in. This means different things to different people. For me it means putting in extra effort into outfits. I've made this goal every year since freshman year and I think I've done a pretty good job at fulfilling this goal. This year is going to be no exception
6. Volunteer more. All of my high school life has been spent pouring my heart and soul into my school work. That doesn't leave a lot for volunteering so I want to make more of an effort this year.
7. Drive. I'm 17 and I still don't have my licence. I need to get on it!
8. Make an effort to hang out with my friends.This is it. This is my last year of high school I want to be sure I make a ton of memories with my friends. I want to spend my time laughing with them, planning out prom together, freaking out over college apps with them. 
9. Finish college apps two weeks before they are due. I just need to be sure that everything is the best it can be. That means finishing early so I can fix any last mistakes and I don't have to be worries about my application not going in.
10. Stay organized!!! I always start off the year really organized and I usually falter a quarter of the way in. I want to make it more of a permanent thing. So I decided to start a bullet journal because I've heard great things about the system. So here goes nothing! (click here to find out more about bullet journal)
11. Make more time for the things I love. Sometimes school gets in the way of me doing things for fun. So I want to make more of an effort to write and read and dance and taking pictures. I want to have time to watch 3 movies in a row and binge watch my latest obsession on netflix. 

What are your goals for this year?  Let me know in the comments below!

Go Check out the rest of my back to school series so far!

Day One:Back to School: Books and Movies
Day Two: Mixtape Monday + Organization
Day Three: Student Survival Guide
Day Four: Goals For the 2015 School Year
Day Five: Cute Hair Styles
Day Six: Open Letter To Students

Motivational Monday #8

"It would be a terrible mistake to go through life thinking that people are the sum total of what you see"- Jonathan Tropper, This Is Where I Leave You. I finished this movie about an hour ago and by the time this goes up even longer. But I can't seem to get it out of my head. This movie is littered with life lessons and little tidbits that show the gory parts of life. I love movies and books that can make me feel things. This is one of those movies, so if you haven't seen this film yet, you should!!!

I love this quote so much. Throughout the movie there are different pieces of each character you didn't expect to see. It's nice to see that people are more than what they put off. People always talk about not judging a book by it's cover, and this quote is the reason why. The parts of people you see aren't always whats real. Take the internet version of what you see. People can come across happy, good, shallow, vain. But meeting them in person you can tell they are more than the pixels that made up their selfie. Or maybe it's just meeting someone at a glance. People are all in different stages of their life on their own journeys. Chances are you might meet someone whose going through a rough patch. I'm not saying that anyone's story justifies being a jerk, but I think it;s important to remember that maybe, just maybe there's something more to that person than just being a jerk.

People are so much more complex than people like to think. There are the simplicities of life, but people tend to make even those complicated. And there's nothing wrong with complicated, it's just complicated and messy, but that's life. In the film the main character is struggling to move past his need to plan and have the perfect life.He begins to see there are more to people than what he initially thought. He see's new sides to his family members and accepts those darker or just newer parts of them What you see isn't everything a person is. It's a glimpse into their life, not who they are. I think it's important to keep in mind that people are complicated and have different sides to them and just because we see one part doesn't mean we know everything about that person.

Here's my instagram if you wanna follow me for more pics and quotes :)

Happy Monday!

Motivation Monday # 7

So I've gotten into Marvel recently. I'm not entirely sure why or how this obsession started but I'm really glad it did. I rewatched the Cap movies and fell in love with both of them and I can't wait till the third one comes out (the day before my birthday). Anyways so that prompted me to finally watch Agent Carter. I was going to watch it when it originally came out but I missed the first two episodes and then couldn't catch up cuz I couldn't find them anywhere. Finally I got my hands on the entire season and DEVOURED it. I finished it in about a day. I know I'm obsessed. Anyways, this show deals with a lot of things, sexism being one of them. Peggy is a badass but because she's a woman no one see's it. She's invisible and is treated like shit. To everyone at her job she's just another pretty face.

She proves herself time and time again but her sexist co-workers and boss refuse to see her as anything but what they painted her as. By the end of the season Peggy realizes that she has nothing to prove to anyone. She doesn't need validation from men who don't know better, who are ignorant, and quite frankly are stupid. She is above that. She doesn't need the whole world to know her name, she's happy knowing that she's saved countless people and will continue to do so. Even though the men in see her differently and treat her differently by the end of the season, they still act the same way. What I admire about Peggy is that she learned and accepted the fact that people are always going to treat her as inferior, but that will never change the fact that she is one badass, amazing, good, person. The people who see her negatively don't matter because their opinions are irrelevant she knows who she is and she done't need a medal to prove it.

I love Peggy. Peggy Carter is goals. We all live in a world where people share opinions, where people say what they think, where people disagree. Most people try and try to gain validation through other people's word that they forget that the person who has to live with it all is themselves. We often forget that the only opinion that matters is our own. We can't let other people's negativity, bigotry, or ignorance affect the way we view ourselves. So what someone doesn't like you, that doesn't make you any less awesome, it just makes them a judgmental person. This is why we need feminism. We need to fight in order to be viewed as equal. Just because some people don't see it that way doesn't change the fact that women know their value and know they deserve equality So fight against the need to make other people happy, or make them like you, or force them to see something they don't want to see. Don't waste your time trying to impress people who are just going to look the other way. You are worth more than that. You are badass, my friend. Don't let anyone's words change that.

Stay Gold,

Motivational Monday #6

"Give into love or live in fear. No other path. No other way. No day but today". I watched Rent the other day. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. It's on netflix. Its amazing. And if you like Rent you'll like The Normal Heart, it's heartbreaking, but so good.

Anyways, for me summer is a blur of late nights, netflix, books, and unfortunately this summer i've added college apps and summer assignments. FUN! *she said sarcasm dripping from her voice onto honey coated shards of glass*. So in my life as a studious student and lazy bum i've realized that I haven't done too much living. Like I have maybe a handful of decent stories to tell my grandkids about. I want to just be open and be able to love my life, myself, and the people I surround myself with.At the end of the day I don't think anyone could ask for more than that. And right now I have to change my attitude from one of fear to one of love and happiness. I don't mean to sound like a hallmark card or anything, but I feel like because of my anxious persona I focus on the negatives of life, of people, of myself. I prepare for the worst and never expect the best. I need to change that because living in a constant state of nerves, fear, and negativity is poisonous and will ultimately stop me from living my life, from taking the steps necessary to make sure I take myself down a road I want to go down. That being said, i'm not going to abandon all my fear, after all a little bit is healthy, safe even. What I need to focus on is letting people in, letting myself be more open, and learn to love where i'm at. After All you're only 17 once.

 I like to make plans. I schedule my day out so that I make sure I get done what needs to get done.That's not the worse way to live but I need to get my head out of dreams of yesterday and visions of tomorrow and focus on what I have right in front of me. I think a lot of people are like that. Forgetting that this moment in time exists. Some are too focused an what the future will bring, or what you can procrastinate and make a future problem. Others look backwards so much they are constantly running into things and falling on their ass. I seem to share both of these problems. Rent tought me that happiness isn't found in what your life is, what it's made up of, so much as what you do with it. So you might not have much, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun, make memories, or be happy, just like being rich doesn't guarantee those things. But if you use what you have, enjoy it and just do you, and love you, then you are solid. So yeah. This today we all should try to live in today, be open, and work toward happiness by loving ourselves, our lives, and the people who we're close too.And if you're not happy where you're at in life you  need to actively be working to change that, and If you're not happy around certain people, then maybe it's time for some feelings talks or even some goodbyes. I guess what I want to say is that we need to stop living in the shadows because fear taught us to be afraid of the light.

Stay Gold,

Motivational Monday #5

So I am not dead. But i'm very sorry that I've not been posting. I blame school and testing. But now that summer's started I will be posting on schedule :) Okay but enough about me.

So this is probably the nostalgia talking, but I picked this quote because this summer is the last summer I have to just be, next year i'll be picking out a bean bag for my dorm in college and  I will be figuring out my classes and I would have said goodbye to my favorite teachers and my friends. It's more than a little scary. But with all the day dreaming about the future comes the nostalgic, sometimes tear filled glimpses into the past. This includes me cleaning out papers and binders and folders from high school and middle school. Yes I am a pack rat. And I found little notes and quotes and random little writings. I kept them. Mostly because it's nice to remember the stupid things we talked about, or the stupid boys we all liked, and the not stupid quotes that I still love. And maybe I realize that they aren't that stupid. These tiny things made me happy. These tiny things made me remember when my friend and I went to yogurtland without parent permission and ran all the way back to her apartment only to find my mom waiting for me... It made me remember about how my friends and I would sit in a circle and talk about our lives. About how we would fangirl about TVD, Once Upon a Time, Reign, etc. About how we've been sitting at the same bench for three years. And how we have one more year filled with more tiny memories that will stay with me like the post its I found in my freshman year binder.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that life moves fast and you have to look back sometimes and remember the good stuff, the happy stuff, and sometimes (most of the time) you have to notice the small things because they tend to be the more important things. I mean do you think i'm going to remember what I got on my chapter ten test in AP U.S History, Probably not. But I'll probably still remember how my friend drew me a starbucks frap with my name spelled very, very wrong, because I complained about how starbucks people can never spelled my name right. Yet  at the time my grade mattered infinitely more than the post it. So enjoy the small things, the things you might not find important at the time, the things that make you smile during the day. Because when it's all said and done those are the thing you remember and want to remember.

Motivational Monday #5

From Love Letters to the Dead (book review here)

We lie all the time. We lie everyday. We lie to make ourselves feel better, we lie to spare other people's feelings, we lie to avoid the truths that we're scared might hurt. Sometimes lies do help but it's important to know that the truth isn't something that should be or even can be avoided.

You need to be true to who you are and who you want to become. So don't lie about who you are just because it makes other people happy. Don't lie to yourself about it either you'll just end up miserable and old and drinking away your feelings. So accept your own truth, accept who you are as you are, as scary as it might be. Because at then end of the day just by accepting the truth you'll be happy, and your happiness is beautiful. Like the quote says accepting your truths, the scary ones, the bad ones, the happy ones, the good ones, it just makes you, you. It makes you youer than yesterday. And you're awesome so why not try and be more you.

Don't lie about how you feel. If you like someone and their worth the risk, then tell them. If you're sad, if you feel like your world is falling apart, if you're lonely, or angry, or frustrated, or happy, then talk about it. Sometimes feeling things and being left with your thoughts can be toxic. If you need to talk to someone don't lie and say you're fine. There are people you can talk to, you're friends, you're family, maybe a teacher, hell you can talk to me if you want to. Sometimes speaking the truth about what you feel is enough to make you feel lighter because you're not a slave to it anymore.

The truth is always hard to face. But life isn't easy. But telling the truth, accepting it, it can be that little light that helps guide you to where you want to go. If you're dying to be a singer, a writer, a producer, or just a better you, hold on to that truth because it's bright and beautiful and you should trust in it because it can take you places.

Motivational Monday #4

Everyone always is talking about how important it is to be yourself. Everyone is always spitting out cliche's about being the best you while never really meaning what they say. I mean what I say. We are constantly afraid of not being enough in a society that seems to put us down every time we show a tiny piece of our true personalities.

At the end of the day, no one matters more than your happiness. You have to live with yourself. Not that cruel evil kid at school, not that stupid teacher that doesn't like you, not that frienemy your circle of people, and not even your parents. Just you. So screw everyone else. Be you. Be happy. You aren't here to be someone your not just to make someone else happy. This is your life and being unhappy and miserable is only going to cause you more pain than being yourself.

It;s hard sometimes to accept yourself, especially when, as I said earlier, everyone is telling you that you aren't good enough. But you have to work on loving yourself and being happy with who you are. So embrace your quirks, eccentricities, your weirdness, those who care about you will love those parts too. So blossom, be you. Be you in the best way you know how. It's okay if you don't know who you are, it's okay to take your time, just do things that make you smile and laugh and bring good things into your life. Because hiding yourself and staying tight in a bud is not how you want to live life. How is anyone ever going to see how amazing you are if you don't ever just blossom?

I got the idea for Motivational Monday from Sprinkle of Glitter

Motivational Monday #3

Happy President's Day! I've recently been thinking of how negative I am on a day to day basis. I dread every morning because I know what the day will bring, I know i'm going to be busy, because chances are the things I want to do aren't going to happen. So needless to say I'm just s stressed out girl, dreading each day, counting the days down till Saturday. So that brings me to this quote...

If you saw the golden globes, then you probably heard Gina Rodriguez's speech and how she told the story about how her dad told her this every day. My sister has thus gotten into the habit of sending me these words in the morning. So I thought why not send this to you guys, why not have you guys start of this week with this.

I know it's hard to keep looking on the bright side. I know it's hard to keep having faith when nothing is going your way. But I want you to know that as hard as life is, and as tough as things get, you can do whatever it is you want. You have the power to make today a good day. So why not make it a good day. Why not try to accomplish things you want, because you can. So put yourself in that mentality. The mentality that gives you strength. The set of mind that gives you the faith to trust yourself and do the things you want, the things you need, and the things that will get you were you want to go.

Today is a good day, No matter what happens, or what the day brings, you should always start your day happy and ready and be optimistic. You can and you will. As cliche, as tired as this is, if you believe you can, you will be able to accomplish what you want. So stop dreading each day, stop thinking that you can't do what it is you dream of  doing it. Silence all those annoying, way too loud, voices telling you can't do it, because guess what? Today is your day. Today is a good day. You can and you will

Motivational Monday

Falling is scary. Falling involves being brave enough that either a) you can fly or b) someone will be there to catch you or c)you can put yourself together. Trying is scary. Living in general is pretty fucking scary. There are so many moments where trying, falling, going for anything can lead to utmost disaster, Or at least it seems like it at the moment. Like asking that person out that you've had a crush on. Or raising your hand in class. It can be something big like starting a business or chasing a dream. 

As humans we all want to survive. As people we want to live. I love this quote because sometimes we forget that something just because things are hard, things are scary doesn't mean you wont succeed. Yeah falling is scary. Getting hurt is scary. But at least we can say we tried. We learn. We live. Besides since when does hard equate to failure, you never know, you might find your wings where ya least expect them. 

I'm always scared of failure. Thats my thing. My flaw. I always think about what can go wrong and then I avoid the thing that can cause things to be shaken up. I need to stop. I need to just go for what I want. Say what I want to say. Essentially be Brave in that way that Sara Barielles sings. So here's my advice for you and for me. Let's see if we can do this together. Let's go for things. Because finally flying would be worth all the scrapes and bruises. Because flying would be pretty damn amazing. So what do ya say? Ready to take the plunge?

I got this idea from Sprinkle of Glitter

Motivational Monday

So it's Monday. It's usually not a day people love. But I hope It's going well for you guys. So Sprinkle of Glitter does this motivation Monday meme every week and I thought I would give it a shot and put my own twist on it.

The Harry Potter books are amazing, if you didn't already know. They have everything including some life quotes. Luna Lovegood is a strange girl who's sweet and kind and loyal. When Harry is at one of his lowest points, it's Luna who shares this little gold nugget. 

Throughout life people will walk in and out of our lives. We will lose things that meant a great deal to us, We can loose our passion for things we once loved. But just because we may have lost something that was important to us doesn't mean that good things won't happen to us.