Dear December,

Here we are at the end of the month, none the wiser but that much older. It's been a good month December, I guess I have you to thank for the chilly wind, and happy smiles. You know it's weird it never really to cold here in Southern California. It's always sunny and warm. But now it feels like winter, like you were actually here December. With winds colder than ice, and rain hitting our practically new coats. 

December, the end of the year has me so nostalgic. I'm thinking about the year that's past and it's actually been a good one. This year has been good to me, you've been good to me. You know how sometimes everything feels like it's in the right place and time and moment? That's kind of how I feel now. Everything I've wanted to do, I've done. Some of my favorite moments of 2014 I never planned, yet they happened I'm happier because of them. 

I remember going to Sara Barellies' Concert. I remember meeting John Green. I remember going to the Night Before our Stars. I remember my 16th Birthday. I remember doing my dance concert in may. I remember getting student of the Semester in English. This year has been filled with so many amazing memories that it's almost hard to let go of 2014. But I think 2015 will be better, I will be better in 2015. I'm excited to see what this new year will bring. There's always so much pressure at the beginning of something new. The pressure of the promise it holds, the potential you see, and the hopes you wish to be reality. 

Here's the thing though, although this is my last letter to you this month, In a year we'll be here December. You reading my letters, and me writing them. I want to make promises and resolutions for 2015, but I think I'll take what the year gives me. Make do with whatever life throws at me. And maybe that's the best promise I can make. 

I'll miss you December. Wish me luck!

Love Always

Letter to December #12

Dear December,

It seems that no good thing ever really lasts. Christmas has come and gone faster than I wanted it too. All this work is put into this holiday that ends up being nothing more than a day long. But somehow it works out. Christmas eve is filled with food and jokes and drama. While Christmas day is calm and happy and beautiful. 

For most people the big day is Christmas day. For me, December, it's Christmas eve. We have a meal, a movie, and plenty of conversation to go around.  Though if I'm being totally honest, there was some unforeseen drama that caught me off guard. It was kind of crazy and even a little more in like. It was at that point that I really wished that my life was anything but a movie is because if the issue had continued, let me tell you that this movie would have an interesting ending to say the least.

Regardless Christmas was good. It was great. It was a cold day by California's Standards. We exchanged presents in the morning. I loved seeing people's faces when the opened their presents, presents I have had planned out since the beginning of this month. I love how well my family know me. I mean My sister got me a Stitch stuffed animal. I'm a 16 year old girl who was really really happy to get a stuffed animal :). I'm lame I know. It was great. I love what I received as gifts. But the thing that makes me smile the most is the fact that these people, my family, my friends, took the time to look for something for me that they knew would make me happy. In the end that's all Christmas is. A feeling you get.

There's this thing we do on Christmas. Where we all stay in our Christmas P.J's and stay home and watch movies. As you know December, we go out into your chilly embrace to go rent movies. So that means that we (and I mean me) go out and rent movies in pajamas and bed heads. Needless to say I got my fair share of stares. Yeah...But I think it's worth it. That's usually the only outing we do all day. The rest it movies, food, and tea. That sums it up! It was great and oh so worth the wait!

December, i'm so happy with the way things are at the moment. It's been a little cray on the way here, but I think its been worth it. I can't believe that Christmas is gone and all that are left now are memories and pictures and things. But I guess it works out better this way.

Love Always

Letter to December #11

Dear December,

I've been thinking about how many times a day I say the word "I". I say it a lot. I think most people say it an uncountable amount of times a day. I say it too much, I think. It seems that I always find a way to bring things back to me. Like if i'm in a conversation about something random I seem to always say something like "I think", "I'm just saying", or "In my opinion". Lately I've been noticing this "I" take over.

It's important to have self value, it's important that every one know that they have a voice. But what i'm getting at is that so many people think  a lot about themselves and never once let themselves think about other people. Never venture into someone else's shoes. Never think in a different point of view. It seems that we all have just become our little islands. That's why you're so important December. That's why Christmas is so special.

It's during these cold days that we all begin to remember that other people matter too. That other people matter to us. That maybe instead of using  "I" all the time we can use "us" or "we". We think of others and we feel good about it. Christmas reminds us that bringing happiness to the people we care about, and maybe even those we've never met, or never will meet, is the best feeling. I know it's cheesy and corny, but that's what the holidays are about, saying the cheesy stuff, doing those simple corny things. I finished watching Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas, one of my favorite holiday specials, and I think a lot of us are like Donald Duck's nephews, focused on presents and ourselves.

So even though Christmas has become this very materialistic holiday it's important to remember that at the root of all the money and capitalistic gains, the whole point is to make someone happy.There's nothing wrong with stuff, everyone wants and needs things. It's just bad when all you care about is getting things. Like Donald Duck said "Christmas is about the hearts you touch".

December, it's toward the end, it's toward this festive season that humanity seems to show it's face after a year of being vacant. You help remind people that us humans don't actually totally suck all the time. Because lets face it people suck most of the time. Christmas is my favorite holiday, not because of the tinsel, the lights, or the food, well maybe the food. It's because I get to be part of something that makes the people who care so much about me, happy.

Now, I'm so excited that it's Christmas. Now, as you know December, this month has been crazy, but tomorrow all the craziness, all the work put into gifts, DIY stuff, food, will all be worth it. So yeah, And in typical Giselle fashion, I'm writing this late in the morning, with a nice mugful of tea :)

Merry Christmas, December

Love Always,

Letter to December #10

Dear December,

Sometimes all you need is a nice big breath, a cup of tea, and an afternoon of nothingness. Now, I've always been one to keep busy. I like running around doing errands, making plans, scheduling things etc. But for a moment, just a tiny one I sat down, tea in hand, and just relaxed and surprisingly enough I enjoyed my moment of nothingness. 

Of course, December, it didn't last long. I went to target not soon after to go Christmas shopping. With finals done, school on pause, I finally have time to get presents and make them. This is my favorite time of the year and it almost makes up for the head splitting-ness of finals week. But it got me thinking, maybe it's time for me to take a deep breath and look around me. I don't think I do it enough. 

People are always doing things. That, I think sometimes, we get so focused on tasks, that we forget the big picture. We forget that we are living breathing people who are living their lives. I know it's cliche but I don't think anyone really stops to smell the roses anymore. And then at random moments, we'll just think "Holy Shit, This is my life". For me it hit me yesterday. With a mug in hand, and nothing to do, it hit me that this is actually what i'm doing with my life, my time, my energy. And I wish I would have stopped more and just taken in the moments, instead of living life on super speed, busy as a bumblebee. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I need to be more in touch with the big picture of it all. I focus to much on the tiny details that won't matter in ten years. I focus on the small things so much I forget that I need to take a breather sometimes. But better late than never, right December?

Love Always,

Letter to December #9

Dear December,

There's a certain something that comes with the end of things. It could be that you just stop caring. It could be that you're in a rush to prove yourself. That's pretty much what finals feel like. This week, December, so many students embark on a journey that can pretty much leave you dead;finals week. Not fun. You see as much as I love you December, you bring around one of the most stressful times of the year. 

Okay so in my defense the internet is a pretty distracting place, but I've been majorly procrastinating on my studying. Maybe it's the Christmas-y feeling in the air, the inebrating amounts of junk food, or the Disney music i've been playing non-stop, but i'm not worried yet. My finals start on Tuesday so i'm waiting to notice the walls closing in on me. I'm waiting to freak out and have the "Holy Shit" moment. You know the one. The one where you're dumbfounded by you're a) own stupidity b)the pressure to do well. This is where some people just have a fuck it moment, and where others, like me cram, 

I know cramming doesn't help, but It's my comfort blanket. I can't not cram for things. Thankfully Disney music has kept me calm (for now) and somewhat happy. I mean you can't not be happy when you'r listening (and singing) "Zero To Hero" or "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" or "Hakuna Matata". You just can't. That probabaly why I listen to it during finals. I have to keep myself somewhat content and together. I can lose it after. I should take a hint from Timon and Pumba and just chill out. But I doubt that I could ever just live by Hakuna Matata, I worry to much. 

I worry. So I plan and plan. But then I don't stick to that plan so I worry and try and plan some more. Usually by like the third circle I got it, and I somewhat know what i'm doing. It just takes some last minute pressure to get me to that point. Which is pretty much where I am right now.

December wish me luck, I'll need it.

Love always,

Letter to December #8

Dear December,

It was cold and rainy and I felt like baking. It was an eventful experience. Mostly because my brother was baking with me. Yeah....

Yesterday was the 12 of December. For most people it was just another day. But for me and my family it was my mom's and sisters saint day. They are both named after the Virgin of Guadalupe. I'm the odd daughter out. My name is Giselle not Guadalupe like my mom and sister. My plan is to add it as a middle name later on in life. We'll see how that goes. Anyways, my brother and I wanted to do something nice for mom since it was the day of her saint.

My brother biked to Target got some cookie mix, cupcake mix and frosting. My dear little brother did his best as a baker, but the poor kid didn't even really know how to crack an egg. So I guess this was an educational experience for him. Like how you're supposed to watch the cookies as you bake. And you know, not let them burn. He still needs to work on baking skills but he's great at decorating :)

The cupcakes turned out really good. The cookies... not so much. I was washing dishes and my little brother was in charge of the cookies. We were in the final stages of baking so I was cleaning up. Then he asks for help and I tell him to wait because I was almost done, but he repeated his words and he was holding a cookie tray full of burnt cookies. So then I took the tray from him trying to find a space to but the tray down. The tray however was soo hot that I burned my finger a little bit. Note: If you ever get burned put tomato on it. It helps. All of a sudden the piercing shriek of the fire alarm went off and I starting to freak out. I put the cookie tray down on a chair and took the other one out, Thankfully Omar was able to turn it off.

Some cookies were salvageable. I couldn't stop laughing after it happened. All the while Christmas Music was playing. But regardless it's a nice, funny memory and to be honest quite a story. Life is a series of moments, some imprinted in out brains some lost in the corners of our mind, And December, I'm making some awesome ones this month.

Love Always

Letter to December #7

Dear December,

I walked into my second period class today and my Psychology teacher was playing Christmas music. As soon as I heard the cheerful melody of "Santa Clause is Coming to Town", I smiled. To be honest I really did want to sing along ;)

I remember one year in elementary my teacher made my class sing that song for a mini, informal, winter concert. Ever since then I've loved this song. Even when everyone was done with that song, I was ready to sing it once more with a giant grin on my face. Years later, I can still sing this song (badly) with a smile on my face.

December 9th marked the anniversary of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. I loved that movie, I watched it yesterday. Maybe it's the end of the year talking but I've started to feel really nostalgic. I used to love watching christmas movies and I could spend hours watching Rudolph, Mickey Mouse, Santa Clause, movies. I still can to be completely honest. But those little kid days...That was the life. We're all in such a hurry to grow up, leave our childhood behind and just be adults. We all want desperately to be taken seriously and want our thoughts and actions to be validated and often times it seems the only way we're going to reach that point is by being adults.

Then one day, you're re-watching old movies, drinking hot cocoa and suddenly you kind of get annoyed with your little kid self because they wanted to grow up so bad. It's not that I would want to change my childhood, I just wish I could have had more carefree time, more naps, more everything. I guess it's human nature to always want more

That's why I love you December, you remind me that it's okay i'm not a little kid. You remind me it's okay as long as I remain a kid at heart, as cheesy as that sounds. At the end of the day I still love watching Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas, eating cookies with a mug full of hot chocolate with sprinkles. You remind us it's okay to play in the snow and actually enjoy ourselves. Just because we grow up (admittedly a little rushed) doesn't mean we can't act like children and enjoy things we did when we were kids.

So who cares if your 20 or 30 or 40 or whatever really, you can still be a kid. You can shake off your responsibility for a couple moments of well deserved childlike fun. Because let's face it you've probably never laughed as passionately, as purely as when you were a kid.


Love Always,

Letter to December #6

Dear December, 

It's currently 11:30 pm and i'm very tired. It'll be tomorrow by the time you get this. I'll be at school, trying not to fall asleep, desperately clinging to my consciousness because I have in class writing, tests, and last minute teaching going on. 

School is crazy and quite frankly i'm really done with it. I know I have Winter break in less than two weeks, but right now amid all the cramming and bad teachers, I'm starting to freak out and wanting to just stop and take a breather. But as my APUSH teacher said this morning, "Now is the time to push yourself".

So here I am with no tea, not on my bed, and with no blankets or sweater near me. I'm not happy. I know it all be over soon, and I'll look back at this and just be glad I was able to say I survived. But until then I'm stuck in a circle of procrastination, going to bed late, napping, procrastination. Fun.

As much as I love you December, you also tend to bring the hardest weeks into my life. With finals and dealing with relatives on Holidays. But I just have to remember that some rough moments have to balance out all the hot chocolates, candy canes, presents, and all around festive cheer. I guess it's like they say, December, you need to have some bad to balance out the good. I think it's a good trade off, or at least I do once i'm on break. 

But for now it's time for me to go to bed and try to not hate myself in the morning for my poor life choices. Thankfully I have Christmas music on repeat and working on my master playlist! You can't ever really be sad while listening to christmas music, you know? 

Love Always, 

Letter to December #5

Dear December,

Sometimes you don't even realize how fast time goes until your standing and wondering where exactly it went. You kind of snuck up on me. I was just minding my own business thinking the end of the year was so far off, but in reality its not. Now I can feel the pressure to do well on my finals even more than I did last year. I'm kind of freaking out. 

It's starting too feel more and more christmas-y everyday. My family and I put up our Christmas Tree on Saturday. I decorated it with my mum, while everyone else slacked off. That's okay, I don't mind. Decorating is one of my favorite things. Once I finished the tree I put up tinsel and lights and ornaments and wreaths all around the living room. I went a little crazy. But I do that almost every year. I decorated my room as well. I have a mini Christmas tree, Christmas lights up with ornaments hanging them as well as tinsel. I LOVE IT. 

Isn't this beautiful! Lol this isn't mine, i'll put up a pic soon!

Everything is moving by so fast December, I don't know how to hold on to anything anymore. It seems the more I cling to my memories of yesterdays the faster time escapes me. I guess that just means I have to be more focused on the here and now. Like I was yesterday when I was trying to make it seem like Christmas threw up in my house. I even changed my screen saver to a Christmas print thing.
I was caught in the moment, letting life engulf me, letting Christmas thoughts whirl around my head. Maybe I should listen to Elsa and let go a little bit. 

Love Always, 

Letters to December #4

Dear December,

Change is hard to come by sometimes. Sometimes it just sneaks up on us. Sometimes its illusive. This is one of those times.

There is so much injustice in the world. I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with with it as often as other people. But as a Mexican woman i'm bound to deal with terrible people saying terrible things. As i'm sure other people have had to endure. The reason I wanted to talk to you about this is because of the whole thing with Mike Brown and Eric Garner.

It's so frustrating to hear someone's life being taken and no one doing anything about it. It makes me angry that so many people, people we're supposed to trust end up hurting the populace. It's sad more than anything. Because families are without members. Because there's one less person at the dinner table. Because a lives was lost. 

I'd like to think the world has come a long way. That we've evolved into good, better people. Clearly that not the case. In the U.S people are getting killed because of their skin color, Where's the fairness in that? In Mexico 43 students were murdered. Where's justice in that? People everywhere are rioting, and banding together in protest.  

Things are crazy. I look at the world and I get sad that things like this happen. I lose faith in humanity, I begin to think there is none left, just shells. It's hard to see good when all I ever hear about is bad. We hear about cyber bulling, murder, racism, sexism, rape...

Change starts with a ripple. People are making themselves heard. It's the first step, and hopefully real change will come of it. Everyone needs to play their part. People need to spread the message. People need to get informed. People need to listen to those who need to be heard. People need to taking action and not just sit around waiting for change to happen

Love Always,

Letter's To December #2

Dear December,

It's been raining like crazy all day. It never rains in Southern California. So seeing the pavement glitter, the bedazzled tree leaves, the gray sky, it's all kind of a novelty to us Cali people. Well it is to me. I love it though. I love the melancholy feel, the chill, the pure rashness of the rain. I'm just about the only one. Many of my friends hate this weather, and, December, I don't get it. 

I got wet today. My hair was stuck to my face and my sweater was darkened by the water. My mother was not pleased, but I was happy. I'm still that five year old who just wants to go splash in puddles and feel the rain on her face. It's strange how somethings just don't change. Like i don't think I'll ever just magically start liking carrots, or stop wanting to read. Yet there are so many aspects of us that time twists and rearranges. Like I have short hair now. I love reading contemporary now. I'm love artichokes. Most of the time these changes happen gradually until one day it's like "wait when did that happen". I guess it's true when they say that life sneaks up on you. 

I came home, changed into my p.j's and had some tea which was perfect for a gloomy day like today. I love coming in from the rain about just as much as I like playing outside in it. I'm currently wrapped in my blanket, avoiding the pile of homework waiting for me. December, the end of the year is near and there is a lot of pressure to make the last three weeks of school count. I'ts starting to get to me. The rain helps. Its just washes away my worries.

Love Always,