"Give into love or live in fear. No other path. No other way. No day but today". I watched Rent the other day. If you haven't seen it I highly recommend it. It's on netflix. Its amazing. And if you like Rent you'll like The Normal Heart, it's heartbreaking, but so good.

Anyways, for me summer is a blur of late nights, netflix, books, and unfortunately this summer i've added college apps and summer assignments. FUN! *she said sarcasm dripping from her voice onto honey coated shards of glass*. So in my life as a studious student and lazy bum i've realized that I haven't done too much living. Like I have maybe a handful of decent stories to tell my grandkids about. I want to just be open and be able to love my life, myself, and the people I surround myself with.At the end of the day I don't think anyone could ask for more than that. And right now I have to change my attitude from one of fear to one of love and happiness. I don't mean to sound like a hallmark card or anything, but I feel like because of my anxious persona I focus on the negatives of life, of people, of myself. I prepare for the worst and never expect the best. I need to change that because living in a constant state of nerves, fear, and negativity is poisonous and will ultimately stop me from living my life, from taking the steps necessary to make sure I take myself down a road I want to go down. That being said, i'm not going to abandon all my fear, after all a little bit is healthy, safe even. What I need to focus on is letting people in, letting myself be more open, and learn to love where i'm at. After All you're only 17 once.

 I like to make plans. I schedule my day out so that I make sure I get done what needs to get done.That's not the worse way to live but I need to get my head out of dreams of yesterday and visions of tomorrow and focus on what I have right in front of me. I think a lot of people are like that. Forgetting that this moment in time exists. Some are too focused an what the future will bring, or what you can procrastinate and make a future problem. Others look backwards so much they are constantly running into things and falling on their ass. I seem to share both of these problems. Rent tought me that happiness isn't found in what your life is, what it's made up of, so much as what you do with it. So you might not have much, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun, make memories, or be happy, just like being rich doesn't guarantee those things. But if you use what you have, enjoy it and just do you, and love you, then you are solid. So yeah. This today we all should try to live in today, be open, and work toward happiness by loving ourselves, our lives, and the people who we're close too.And if you're not happy where you're at in life you  need to actively be working to change that, and If you're not happy around certain people, then maybe it's time for some feelings talks or even some goodbyes. I guess what I want to say is that we need to stop living in the shadows because fear taught us to be afraid of the light.

Stay Gold,

Waiting on Wednesday

Movie Pub Date: August 22, 2014

Book Pub Date: April 2, 2009
Just listen, Adam says with a voice that sounds like shrapnel. I open my eyes wide now. I sit up as much as I can. And I listen. Stay, he says. Choices. Seventeen-year-old Mia is faced with some tough ones: Stay true to her first love—music—even if it means losing her boyfriend and leaving her family and friends behind? Then one February morning Mia goes for a drive with her family, and in an instant, everything changes. Suddenly, all the choices are gone, except one. And it's the only one that matters. If I Stay is a heartachingly beautiful book about the power of love, the true meaning of family, and the choices we all make.

Add it on Goodreads. Read it before you see the movie

Why do I want to see it?

I read this book when I was 11. I fell in love with it completely and too see it grow and have more and more people like it and understand what I felt when I read it was amazing. I actually think they might do a good job with movie, and i'm excited to see everything play out in front of me. The actors are great, the music seems really good, I AM SOO EXITED.

Hosted by Breaking the Spine

The Spectacular Now Book Reveiw

Release date: November 1, 2008
Book: The Spectacular Now
Author: Tim Tharp
Source: I bought it from Barnes and Noble
The Basics: This National Book Award Finalist is now a major motion picture -- one of the most buzzed-about films at Sundance 2013, starring Shailene Woodley and Miles Teller.
SUTTER KEELY. HE’S the guy you want at your party. He’ll get everyone dancing. He’ ll get everyone in your parents’ pool. Okay, so he’s not exactly a shining academic star. He has no plans for college and will probably end up folding men’s shirts for a living. But there are plenty of ladies in town, and with the help of Dean Martin and Seagram’s V.O., life’s pretty fabuloso, actually.Until the morning he wakes up on a random front lawn, and he meets Aimee. Aimee’s clueless. Aimee is a social disaster. Aimee needs help, and it’s up to the Sutterman to show Aimee a splendiferous time and then let her go forth and prosper. But Aimee’s not like other girls, and before long he’s in way over his head. For the first time in his life, he has the power to make a difference in someone else’s life—or ruin it forever. (goodreads.com)

My Rating: 4/5

My Musings:

     On my Top Ten Tuesday Post  I said I had a love-hate relationship with this book. Now let me explain myself. 

     This book is beyond amazing. The writing is witty, funny and eloquently written. The characters are three dimensional and you really get a feel of who they are. Not just some shallow character cut outs that you find in some books. Sutter and Aimee are incredibly likable characters. And as i said in my TTT post, I LOVE him. He made me laugh, cry which is pretty much all you can ask from a book. Sutter is guy who loves to party and drink whiskey and seven up. He seems like a simple guy but as you read the book you see all the problems that lie underneath his "I couldn't care less" facade. Enter Aimee, a complete sweetheart. She makes him happy and a good person and reminds him he isn't alone. I love their relationship for the most part. They're a really cute couple! 

     As for Aimee, I love her too. She reminds me a lot of myself and the way I act in high school. Sutter helps Aimee change for the better; he gets her to stand up for herself and follow her dreams. With Sutter she can be a normal teenager. However being a "normal" teenager also comes with drinking and partying and so forth and so on. I kind of felt that she started doing these things for Sutter more than herself. I guess we all do that sometimes, changes stuff for people we like. Not that we should have to. That part of the book did annoy me. Overall I found her to be a lovable, sweet girl who wanted to go to college, was wicked smart and is amazing!

      I liked all the other characters. Well at least as much as I was supposed to. Well I liked Ricky up until the end when he stopped being there for Sutter. Cassidy taught Sutter an important lesson, even if Sutter refuses to acknowledge it. They made good supporting characters. I also loved Bob's father-like character! Sutter really needed him and I liked the scenes they had together.

     I liked the story line a lot. I loved Sutter! I laughed and cried and wanted to punch people in the face along with him. I swear he gets himself into all sorts of problems. *SPOILER*Like that fire at his sister's house! *SPOILER DONE*It was all leading up to whether or not Sutter was going to change, whether or not he was going to try and fight for his future instead of just now. I kept waiting for something. For him to realize that he needs to fight for his future and focus on that for a change. *MAJOR SPOILER* IF YOU HAVEN"T READ THE BOOK WALK AWAY NOW THEN COME BACK WHEN THIS POST TURNS BACK INTO GREY COLORED TEXT. 

     OK so here's my only real problem with the book. The ending. If you've read it you know what i'm talking about. of course you've read it because if you haven't your ruining the book for yourself. I wished that Sutter would have changed his mind about living in the "now" and instead decided to go after Aimee (who was probably heartbroken when she finally figured it out that the boy she loves is never going to move in with her.).  It took me a while to realize what this ending actually was. It wasn't a "bad" ending. It was Sutter coming to terms with his own actions. Granted I wished for a different ending but this book is supossed to be about real life. And in real life we get sucky endings. We get endings we don't want. And that's exactly what the author was trying to show. That life sometimes ends chapters for us in really sucky ways. We just have to accept it and move on. Sutter wasn't ready to commit to Aimee and he knew better than to lead her on. He also had no future planned so he goes to a bar and drinks and he comes to terms with his spectacular now and decides it has all been worth it. 

Ok those of you that have not read it can start reading from here. Overall this a great book that is perfect for those of you that love John Green, Stephen Chbosky, and Rainbow Rowel. It will take you on an emotional roller coaster but it will leave you breathless.