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Dear Cole St. Clair

27 September 2014

     It's currently past midnight. And I'm awake thinking about you and Isabel and wolves. And strangely enough I want some french toast and a mug filled with chamomile tea. I'm actually really tired and kind of want to sleep, yet I don't feel like surrendering today yet. I think you'd get that. So I decided that I would write you a letter, because I think you of all people will understand my midnight ramblings and because I just finished Sinner and you're on my mind.
     How's Jeremy? And Isabel? Leon? You know I've been thinking, I've lived so close to L.A and yet I haven't seen much of it. Maybe I should take your advice and become a tourist in my own city. After all, how else am I going to see it's pretty facade. I'll keep you posted. I'm listening to High Hopes by Kodaline right now. I think I have a serious thing for sad and depressing songs. But I think you'd like it. It's sad and it's got the melancholy hum that just draw you in. There's no booming bass or synth beats, just some drums, piano and a yearning voice.
      Weird how active your brain can be, even after the whole worlds fast asleep. I'm kind of waiting for some deep thoughts to happen, but my brain is stuck on food and you. Mostly food. This is the moment I wish my house didn't have suck creaky, squeaky floors.
      I know I've said this before, but characters are the voices that bring color in our minds. I read somewhere that sometimes you can even start acting like your favorite characters. I can seriously say that I've channeled my inner Cole St Clair this week. I've been sassy, witty, and been a little sad. I think part of the reason I love you so much, why I connect with you so much, is because you're fucked up and you're trying to fix yourself. For some reason, this week, reading this book I feel a little happy if not a little hopeful. You're trying to put the pieces back together and they might be a little ragged but they're there. And I love you for trying and making it happen. I see you and Isabel working so hard to be happy and be yourselves that it makes me want to try harder too. I'm rooting for you. I hope you're rooting for me too. So thanks for reminding me that it's okay to be sad, to cry, and to be a little messed up. *hugs you*
       I know you probably think this whole letter is a little cheesy, bit random, but hopefully a little endearing and nice. I have this picture of you in my head after your parents came back running away into your bathroom wanting to die. Saying you were born to die. I know you're happy now running out of cars while on the freeway, hanging out with the always fashionable Isabel, and doing music stuff. So for me, as a reader, to watch you go from a very low low to a happy ending, was a happy thing.
      I love how you made me laugh and cry and feel everything imaginable. I got a lot of weird looks in class whenever I laughed so i'm pretty sure people think i'm a little crazy. But that's all right, I was a little bit crazy before I read Sinner. Probably more than a little. So tomorrow i'm going to make myself some french toast and some tea. Shame you and Isabel won't be there with me. I make some killer french toast :).
     So this is it Mr. Cole St. Clair, this is the end of my ramblings. I'm not going to bed yet, but I think I've said all I need to write now. Maybel i'll write you another letter. Maybe this'll be the only one I ever write to you.  I just want to say I love you, keep on being crazy, and stay happy.


What did you guys think of this letter? About Cole St. Clair? 

Love, 
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