I started this post with the intention of doing a motivational Monday post then realized that this was more of a rant/opinion/here are my thoughts on this quote thing. To be frank this post feels a little all over the place but it sas fun to write so i hope ita fun to read.

This quote is one of my favorites from one of my favorite movies and books "This Is Where I Leave You". I watched the movie first and just had to read this book. This quote stood out to me because I could relate to it, it struck a chord, cheesy as that sounds.

This is my senior year. The last year of the most stressful years of my life to date, then again I've only been alive for 17 years. I keep waiting for all of that to just hit me. For me to just wake up and realize that soon i'm going to have to try to be a functioning adult, It's probably not even going to actually hit me until I'm at prom, at graduation, at move in day. I'm going to look back and realize that I'v actually grown up already. That I've let go of being a kid. And it's sad. It's sad to think about the things I've given up, that everyone has to give up to be an adult, to be grown up. It sucks so much. Just because I'm turning 18 next year doesn't mean I'm full fledged adult, it just means I have to take care of more things and let go childish notions and ideas. It's sad.

Short Hair Don't Care

I used to have long hair. It used to be almost to my butt. It was long and thick and a little wavy. But it was a hassle. It was a BIG hassle. But I would get compliments all the time on my hair. It took me a while to understand that the only thing people were really complimenting was how long my hair was. To be honest my hair was so frizzy and poofy that it spent most of its time in ponytails or braids.


I never really toyed with the idea of short hair. But then I decided to donate it. I didn't really care much about it at this point.
Then high school came and change needed to happen. So before freshman year was over I cut it just below my collar bone. But it wasn't enough the following year I cut it above my shoulders. I loved it. Recently I got another haircut and it's actually not that short but it's different than what I usually go for. I have bangs now. Like real bangs not hair that not long enough to be part of my hair. It's super layered. Yeah. I like it though, Its a change. I LOVE my short hair.

A lot of people think that it's impossible to be feminine or sexy with short hair. They tie this whole idea of being a woman with having long hair. When in reality you hair shouldn't define how feminine you are. My hair isn't that short. But I would love to go shorter. Get a bob maybe. I was dared to get a pixie cut. Who knows what i'll do with my hair in the next couple of years?

before I cut my hair this week

Anyways I think it's so stupid how much crap people can give you when you think about cutting your hair short. By the time high school started the longest part of my hair reached my waistline (I had layers). I needed a change. So much had happened to me, I had overcome a lot of stuff. So I figured what better way to show how much I changed than with a haircut. I toyed with the idea from about December till May. I asked people what they thought. Everyone I talked to save like three people said DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR. They said my hair was so pretty long, why would I want to go short. With my friends, family, and acquaintances all telling me to keep my long locks I decided maybe they were right. Then I googled to see the pros and cons. Clearly I was not the only one trying to figure out if it would be worth it.

post haircut

The internet was definitely NOT helpful in this case. If anything I was even more indecisive. People were saying guys like longer hair, short hair is unfeminine and unattractive. Guys AND girls were saying this. So then all I was thinking was would it really be that bad to have short hair. Everything and everyone was telling me how my hair was a sign of my femininity. I didn't understand why I couldn't be girly and have short hair. Why people were freaking out over me cutting MY hair. Thankfully I had three people in my corner telling me to go for it. Then it hit me. Why was I trying to find validation in other people. If I wanted to do something for me why did it matter if other people agreed with me. Why did it matter that the internet was telling me that no guy would like me with short hiar. I was doing this for me. So why did it matter what everyone else was saying. 

post haircut

So my sister, for my birthday took me to get my hair cut. It was an awesome experience. With every snip my hair became shorter and all those people telling me not to do this were silenced. Because when you do things for you and you try new things no one else matters. It was great. Now no one can picture me having long hair anymore. No one can even remember what I looked like with long hair my freshman year.

Quick Pro's of having short hair:
Short hair is great. It takes less time to style (for me anyway) because it's okay if your hair looks messy/ I love how short hair looks with hats. As a California girl it makes dealing with the heat a lot easier. There's less hair to manage. No more crazy clumps of hair in the shower or on your brush. Plus it's a fashion statement. It brings more attention to your face.

 You should never let someone else's thoughts, society's idea of an ideal person, stop you from being you. So do you boo. Be happy. If you want to cut you hair GO FOR IT> worst thing that can happen is you hate and have to wait till it grows back again. If you have long hair and love it! GREAT. As cheesy as it sounds hair, clothes, it's all a way to show people what type of human we are. Why let stupid people tell you show to live your life or how to express yourself. Don't confine yourself to the stupid, unrealistic, biased, beauty ideals that society creates.

Femininity is more than just the way we act, dress, or style our hair. We shouldn't have to put labels on people just because they don't fit that cookie cutter mold. So stop listening to society because our society is 50 shades of fucked up, stop trying to validate your actions by looking for a approval with your friends or family, you'll be happiest when you do things that make you happy not other people. I gotta say I love my short hair and I don't really care what people think anymore.

Dear Students,

      School. For a lot of people the word alone is enough to make us upset, angry, nervous. I get nervous. I'm about to be a junior and i can't tell you how nerve wreaking it is to even think about what school is going to be like this year. This is the year that counts the most. The year that I'm betting everything on. And if it doesn't go well i can kiss going to my dream college goodbye. Maybe I sound melodramatic and whatever but the thing is there is so much pressure on every student to do well, because college. And it's crazy to think that we're living our teen years in our room, locked away from the world outside because we have tests and projects and let's not forget the drama the inevitably comes with having friends.For my brother, he's going into high school with no friends, and that's tough. I went through it and it's not something i would wish on anyone. But you're never the new kid for long, and you will find a good group of people you like or at least can tolerate.
       It's a lot for anyone but we deal with it because we have to. I know that school sucks sometimes and it's stressful 99% of the time. I just wanted to let you know that it's okay to stress cry and have panic attacks and freak out. I know what it's like to feel like your drowning and your stuck and oh so lost. I get it and it's a terrible feeling. I'm sure you've been through it to. Let me just tell you this. If you honestly feel like this, then please stop what your doing and please take care of yourself. One bad grade isn't going to define you, one mistake isn't going to hold you back unless you let it. You have to remember that even when you feel like the ground is coming apart at your feet that you are more that whatever is going on at school. You are who you want to be. School plays a part in you life but it doesn't define you. If it's one in fucking morning and your tired and your sad go eat chocolate, or sleep, or read. Do something for you because trust me as important as school is, your health and well being is more important. Remember that for me.
       High school sucks and it's not something the majority of us look forward to. But  please try. It'll all be worth it when your doing what you want to do with you life. And if you don't know what it is you want to do, it's okay. I'm about to get cheesy. Not that I have't been cheesy, but i'm admitting it right now. Life is about molding yourself into what you want. I sound like a walking hallmark card, but it's true. I hope that you understand that everything you do helps build your character. If you mess up, you learn to not mess up so bad next time, if your sad, then you learn how to cope. If you try new things, who knows you might discover you like apple pie more than a vanilla cupcake. So try everyday, because you can't regret it. The worst that can happen is a bad day.  Also don't let anyone make you feel bad because your bad day isn't as bad as someone else because you will still feel the way you feel regardless. Every one has their own problems so respect that you might not always know what someone else is going through. And in the words of the very wise Eeyore"The nice thing about rain is that it always stops. Eventually".
      For those of us who don't like school because of the people there, just remember that at the end of the day their words are just words. Don't give those horrible utterances power, because the words or the people who say it don't deserve. If it helps, remember that they will probably serve you fries in the future. Or better yet you'll have such a great life after high school you won't even remember their names. Embrace your weirdness. My sister told me that your weirdness is ultimately what makes you, you and not just another carbon cut out of what everyone else wants to be. So be you. And if you like wearing all black, go for it, if you like having hot pink hair, go for it, if you like girls, awesome, if you like boys, awesome, if you have no idea, you'll figure it out I promise. Real family and true friends will love you for whoever it is you are and will accept you regardless.
     I probably sound like dramatic or over the top, but the thing is I know so many people who just hate school and hate what comes with it and all i want is to help or let you know that no matter what you need to put yourself first and be good to yourself. For me I have really bad panic attacks, and I have to deal with it every day. Granted that has to do more with me than with school, but school doesn't help. And i just figured that if somehow someone read this and was like "i get this" and feel better about themselves or things they've done than I've done something good. Whether you feel nervous or angry or lost or unsure or whatever it is your feeling its okay because somehow things will work out. You will make things work out for you. So yeah.
       All in all good luck to you, my friend. Be awesome and be who you are because you can be. It's that simple. people just like to complicate things. So study hard, take care of yourself, and have a good school year and remember you will survive and you can do this!

All the best,