First Motivational Monday of the year! To be quite frank it's the first one in a long time. Recently I've started my second semester of my senior year. This means two things.
1) Senoritis is starting to hit me.
2) I'm really nostalgic.
The first thing kinda gives me more time to think therefore increasing the rate of the second thing. If that makes sense. I've played most of my high school life safe. I've focused on trying to get into different colleges, dreaming of my future college days. However, I've had my fair share of failures. I've failed at tiny things that only I remember and I've failed spectacularly that still haunt me to this day. But those moments I think have created stories and shaped me.

So this week go do you. Be happy, take failure in stride, have pride in your successes. Go make stories that you can tell your grand kids too. Failure is not a bad thing, it's a learning experience, a funny story, or both.

Motivational Monday #5

So I am not dead. But i'm very sorry that I've not been posting. I blame school and testing. But now that summer's started I will be posting on schedule :) Okay but enough about me.

So this is probably the nostalgia talking, but I picked this quote because this summer is the last summer I have to just be, next year i'll be picking out a bean bag for my dorm in college and  I will be figuring out my classes and I would have said goodbye to my favorite teachers and my friends. It's more than a little scary. But with all the day dreaming about the future comes the nostalgic, sometimes tear filled glimpses into the past. This includes me cleaning out papers and binders and folders from high school and middle school. Yes I am a pack rat. And I found little notes and quotes and random little writings. I kept them. Mostly because it's nice to remember the stupid things we talked about, or the stupid boys we all liked, and the not stupid quotes that I still love. And maybe I realize that they aren't that stupid. These tiny things made me happy. These tiny things made me remember when my friend and I went to yogurtland without parent permission and ran all the way back to her apartment only to find my mom waiting for me... It made me remember about how my friends and I would sit in a circle and talk about our lives. About how we would fangirl about TVD, Once Upon a Time, Reign, etc. About how we've been sitting at the same bench for three years. And how we have one more year filled with more tiny memories that will stay with me like the post its I found in my freshman year binder.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that life moves fast and you have to look back sometimes and remember the good stuff, the happy stuff, and sometimes (most of the time) you have to notice the small things because they tend to be the more important things. I mean do you think i'm going to remember what I got on my chapter ten test in AP U.S History, Probably not. But I'll probably still remember how my friend drew me a starbucks frap with my name spelled very, very wrong, because I complained about how starbucks people can never spelled my name right. Yet  at the time my grade mattered infinitely more than the post it. So enjoy the small things, the things you might not find important at the time, the things that make you smile during the day. Because when it's all said and done those are the thing you remember and want to remember.

Motivational Monday #4

Everyone always is talking about how important it is to be yourself. Everyone is always spitting out cliche's about being the best you while never really meaning what they say. I mean what I say. We are constantly afraid of not being enough in a society that seems to put us down every time we show a tiny piece of our true personalities.

At the end of the day, no one matters more than your happiness. You have to live with yourself. Not that cruel evil kid at school, not that stupid teacher that doesn't like you, not that frienemy your circle of people, and not even your parents. Just you. So screw everyone else. Be you. Be happy. You aren't here to be someone your not just to make someone else happy. This is your life and being unhappy and miserable is only going to cause you more pain than being yourself.

It;s hard sometimes to accept yourself, especially when, as I said earlier, everyone is telling you that you aren't good enough. But you have to work on loving yourself and being happy with who you are. So embrace your quirks, eccentricities, your weirdness, those who care about you will love those parts too. So blossom, be you. Be you in the best way you know how. It's okay if you don't know who you are, it's okay to take your time, just do things that make you smile and laugh and bring good things into your life. Because hiding yourself and staying tight in a bud is not how you want to live life. How is anyone ever going to see how amazing you are if you don't ever just blossom?

I got the idea for Motivational Monday from Sprinkle of Glitter

Motivational Monday

Falling is scary. Falling involves being brave enough that either a) you can fly or b) someone will be there to catch you or c)you can put yourself together. Trying is scary. Living in general is pretty fucking scary. There are so many moments where trying, falling, going for anything can lead to utmost disaster, Or at least it seems like it at the moment. Like asking that person out that you've had a crush on. Or raising your hand in class. It can be something big like starting a business or chasing a dream. 

As humans we all want to survive. As people we want to live. I love this quote because sometimes we forget that something just because things are hard, things are scary doesn't mean you wont succeed. Yeah falling is scary. Getting hurt is scary. But at least we can say we tried. We learn. We live. Besides since when does hard equate to failure, you never know, you might find your wings where ya least expect them. 

I'm always scared of failure. Thats my thing. My flaw. I always think about what can go wrong and then I avoid the thing that can cause things to be shaken up. I need to stop. I need to just go for what I want. Say what I want to say. Essentially be Brave in that way that Sara Barielles sings. So here's my advice for you and for me. Let's see if we can do this together. Let's go for things. Because finally flying would be worth all the scrapes and bruises. Because flying would be pretty damn amazing. So what do ya say? Ready to take the plunge?

I got this idea from Sprinkle of Glitter

Motivational Monday

So it's Monday. It's usually not a day people love. But I hope It's going well for you guys. So Sprinkle of Glitter does this motivation Monday meme every week and I thought I would give it a shot and put my own twist on it.

The Harry Potter books are amazing, if you didn't already know. They have everything including some life quotes. Luna Lovegood is a strange girl who's sweet and kind and loyal. When Harry is at one of his lowest points, it's Luna who shares this little gold nugget. 

Throughout life people will walk in and out of our lives. We will lose things that meant a great deal to us, We can loose our passion for things we once loved. But just because we may have lost something that was important to us doesn't mean that good things won't happen to us.

Quotes for the New Year

Okay so it's 2015 which means a whole new year of struggles and happiness. Sometimes we just need some quotes, some words to help us through the year, comfort us during the sad days, congratulate us during those good times. Katie from Katie's Great Perhaps did this post where she wrote 7 quotes to inspire her readers and I couldn't help but want to this post as well. So without further ado here are my quotes for you.

"For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning"-T.S Elliot

"Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody." -Stephen Chbosky

"Perhaps that is where our choice lies -- in determining how we will meet the inevitable end of things, and how we will greet each new beginning."-  Elana K. Arnold

"Life is for living, not living uptight, see ya somewhere up in the sky."-Jay Z

"But there's a beginning in an end, you know? It's true that you can't reclaim what you had, but you can lock it up behind you. Start fresh." -Alexandra Bracken

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."-Dr. Seuss

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."-Oscar Wilde

Blogtober: Favorite Quotes and Why

I couldn't pick just one quote so here are four, well really five of my favorite quotes. I did another post recently where I did best advice i've ever received if you're feeling extra quote-y today :)

"The sun still rises even with the pain"- The Head and The Heart

I love this quote! I even have this on my wall. I love the song too! It's so beautiful and calm and just yeah... It's called Another Story, in case you were curious. I like it because of the realness and simplicity of it. You might not be happy but a new day will dawn. So you'll go through that day and end stronger maybe even happier. The sun will shine and you might not feel like dealing with the day doesn't mean you shouldn't seize it. Because let's face it if you're going to feel like shit, all you can do is feel it, accept it, just don't let it ruin you day, or week, or month.

"We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably hopeless, we just have to believe we're worth fixing" -John Green (with my twist at the end)

I'm an optimistic person most of the time. I like to look at the bright side whenever possible and this quote really speaks to me because it's a reminder that you should never lose hope because you can naver ever be so broken that you can't fix yourself. I do think, however, you have to believe you're worth fixing in order for this quote to be true. And who ever you are, I promise that you are 110% worth fixing, and that whatever it is you're going through you'll come out the other end because you can fix yourself and be better for it later. 

"For to have faith is to have wings"-Peter Pan

I actually want this tattooed. I haven't decided where, either my wrist, side, or back. I love this quote because it's so true. If you have faith in your dreams, in yourself, in life, in those you love, in you happiness, anything is possible, you might as well be able to fly. Isn't that what we all want. To just fly straight to our dreams? Happiness? It's important to remember that having faith can be everything. I guess in the words of Mary Margret, "Even believing in the possibility of a happy ending is a powerful thing"

"One can find happiness even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light"-Dumbledore

Oh how I love Dumbledore. As much as I love all these quotes I love this one just a tad bit more. It's profound and simple at the same time, you know? What I get from this is that you control your happiness. If you want to feel sad and want to stay in the dark leave the lights off but when your ready to be happy just look for the light switch. You're going to have bad times but you'll be okay, you can find the little things that make you happy. It's possible to be happy even when you're sad. Like if you have a bad day (week, month) and something happens and you smile. It could be small like a cup of tea, or a Harry Potter Movie, or a good book, a rainy day, a lucky penny. 

Blogtober is hosted by  The Daily Tay and Helene in Between

Blogtober: Best Advice I've Ever Been Given

"When in a battle between logic and the heart always go with your heart because believe me or not your heart knows what will make you happy better than your mind does" --My Brother

“So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.” --Stephen Chbosky, Perks of Being a Wallflower

" Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it." --Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 

"Never trust a duck"--Will Herondale, The Infernal Devices

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices." -- Augustus Waters, TFIOS 

Hosted by The Daily Tay and Helene in Between

Blogtober: Dear Future Me,

I'm studying for my Unit 2 Psychology exam tomorrow. I'm so tired I think its quite possible i'll keel over at any point and just start sleeping. Today has pretty much just been about school and the art of being tired yet lucid enough to learn. I've often day dreamed about the future in class. I've dreamt up how my life would look ten years from now and to be quite honest it changes every time. When I was little 26 year old me seemed so old and so distant I couldn't even really imagine myself that age. Now it's still far away but I have this vague sense of what might have happened and how far I am from my goal, my dream, the reason I try in school right now.

I've imagined myself in New York, yet I've also daydreamed myself in L.A, sometimes even in England. By now you probably graduated from university so Congrats!! You are now the third person in our immediate family to go and graduate from college! I bet you Mom cried. And i bet because you saw her cry, you cried, and because you cried various other people cried. And suddenly there were happy tears everywhere! At least that's how I pictured it. You might be frequenting cafe's, relishing in independence, or maybe you're visiting mom every other weekend because you miss the food. Both of which your 16 year old self is okay with. Maybe you're already a published author, Maybe you're still struggling, in which case KEEP TRYING. Dreams don't work if you don't. Happiness is a journey not a destination. Okay i'm done being a Hallmark card for now.

I hope you have a better sense of what you're doing because i'm not really sure what i'm doing with my life half the time. Maybe it's because I need time to see how important High School is or something but sometimes I swear I feel so very lost. I know what I want it's just that getting there is hard and sometimes I lose sight of my end goal and just meander my way down the path. Maybe this being lost thing is just an angsty teen thing. Or maybe it's not. Guess only time will tell. And maybe you already know.

I guess it almost be time for the high school reunion huh? Bet you're feeling old right now. Time to get all nostalgic about high school and the people we know/knew.Its bittersweet knowing that in a couple years the chances of me actually retaining the friendships I have now are slim. Eventually they will be people in pictures, people laughing in my memories. But that will be that. I'm pretty sure you're feeling old right now. I hope I get to find new people. And I hope I still keep some of my old peeps.

So my question to you, future me, is would 16 year old me be happy with you? Are you making me proud? Are you still as cheesy as I am? Reading YA as fervently? Still into indie music? Maybe as you're reading this you're listening to my old high school playlists. Amazing just how much a song can be. It can be part of memories and feelings and action.  I've always wanted to grow up to be a strong, independent, girl with dreams bigger than the moon, yet making them come true. That's who i'm working on being. I think I saw somewhere on tumblr a quote that read "be the person you needed when you were younger". Are you that person?

The big thing, the most important thing, is knowing that i'm happy. That somewhere down the line I find that invigorating happiness that comes from being alive and letting life engulf you. And that, that happiness is around me all the time. Not that i'm not happy now, but it's hard to think happy thoughts when all you can think of is a)how tired you b)how hard your test is and c)will this look good on college apps. In between that it's hard to actually let life just work it's magic and make me feel all warm and fuzzy. I do have happy moments though and they'v been pretty awesome. Their just a little harder to come by. Then again it's junior year. That's just what happens.  I just hope that me working now, and me working 5 years down the line, will work in getting you happy. To the place we both know I want to be in.

Maybe happy means that i'm not where i'd thought i'd be. Maybe it means i'm somewhere random. Maybe it means that i'm working two jobs. Maybe that means i'm not published. Maybe it means I am. What ever it is I hope I'm happy. And if I find someone to be happy with too, that even more awesome.

So go be happy future me. Go be you. Go do whatever it is you do with your day. Or go do some crazy shit! Drink some tea, have some coffee. Maybe do something spontaneous like go visit Alaska!

Hosted by The Daily Tay and Helene in Between

Love Always,

The Spectacular Now Book Reveiw

Release date: November 1, 2008
Book: The Spectacular Now
Author: Tim Tharp
Source: I bought it from Barnes and Noble
The Basics: This National Book Award Finalist is now a major motion picture -- one of the most buzzed-about films at Sundance 2013, starring Shailene Woodley and Miles Teller.
SUTTER KEELY. HE’S the guy you want at your party. He’ll get everyone dancing. He’ ll get everyone in your parents’ pool. Okay, so he’s not exactly a shining academic star. He has no plans for college and will probably end up folding men’s shirts for a living. But there are plenty of ladies in town, and with the help of Dean Martin and Seagram’s V.O., life’s pretty fabuloso, actually.Until the morning he wakes up on a random front lawn, and he meets Aimee. Aimee’s clueless. Aimee is a social disaster. Aimee needs help, and it’s up to the Sutterman to show Aimee a splendiferous time and then let her go forth and prosper. But Aimee’s not like other girls, and before long he’s in way over his head. For the first time in his life, he has the power to make a difference in someone else’s life—or ruin it forever. (goodreads.com)

My Rating: 4/5

My Musings:

     On my Top Ten Tuesday Post  I said I had a love-hate relationship with this book. Now let me explain myself. 

     This book is beyond amazing. The writing is witty, funny and eloquently written. The characters are three dimensional and you really get a feel of who they are. Not just some shallow character cut outs that you find in some books. Sutter and Aimee are incredibly likable characters. And as i said in my TTT post, I LOVE him. He made me laugh, cry which is pretty much all you can ask from a book. Sutter is guy who loves to party and drink whiskey and seven up. He seems like a simple guy but as you read the book you see all the problems that lie underneath his "I couldn't care less" facade. Enter Aimee, a complete sweetheart. She makes him happy and a good person and reminds him he isn't alone. I love their relationship for the most part. They're a really cute couple! 

     As for Aimee, I love her too. She reminds me a lot of myself and the way I act in high school. Sutter helps Aimee change for the better; he gets her to stand up for herself and follow her dreams. With Sutter she can be a normal teenager. However being a "normal" teenager also comes with drinking and partying and so forth and so on. I kind of felt that she started doing these things for Sutter more than herself. I guess we all do that sometimes, changes stuff for people we like. Not that we should have to. That part of the book did annoy me. Overall I found her to be a lovable, sweet girl who wanted to go to college, was wicked smart and is amazing!

      I liked all the other characters. Well at least as much as I was supposed to. Well I liked Ricky up until the end when he stopped being there for Sutter. Cassidy taught Sutter an important lesson, even if Sutter refuses to acknowledge it. They made good supporting characters. I also loved Bob's father-like character! Sutter really needed him and I liked the scenes they had together.

     I liked the story line a lot. I loved Sutter! I laughed and cried and wanted to punch people in the face along with him. I swear he gets himself into all sorts of problems. *SPOILER*Like that fire at his sister's house! *SPOILER DONE*It was all leading up to whether or not Sutter was going to change, whether or not he was going to try and fight for his future instead of just now. I kept waiting for something. For him to realize that he needs to fight for his future and focus on that for a change. *MAJOR SPOILER* IF YOU HAVEN"T READ THE BOOK WALK AWAY NOW THEN COME BACK WHEN THIS POST TURNS BACK INTO GREY COLORED TEXT. 

     OK so here's my only real problem with the book. The ending. If you've read it you know what i'm talking about. of course you've read it because if you haven't your ruining the book for yourself. I wished that Sutter would have changed his mind about living in the "now" and instead decided to go after Aimee (who was probably heartbroken when she finally figured it out that the boy she loves is never going to move in with her.).  It took me a while to realize what this ending actually was. It wasn't a "bad" ending. It was Sutter coming to terms with his own actions. Granted I wished for a different ending but this book is supossed to be about real life. And in real life we get sucky endings. We get endings we don't want. And that's exactly what the author was trying to show. That life sometimes ends chapters for us in really sucky ways. We just have to accept it and move on. Sutter wasn't ready to commit to Aimee and he knew better than to lead her on. He also had no future planned so he goes to a bar and drinks and he comes to terms with his spectacular now and decides it has all been worth it. 

Ok those of you that have not read it can start reading from here. Overall this a great book that is perfect for those of you that love John Green, Stephen Chbosky, and Rainbow Rowel. It will take you on an emotional roller coaster but it will leave you breathless. 

TMI Tag

Just a Random Quote I love :)

Hey everyone! So I got tagged a while back by Marianne from Marianne Says. I guess it makes sense for me to this, that way you guys know me better. So here I am eating starbursts answering questions for you guys 

1. What are you wearing right now?

   I'm wearing shorts and a loose black shirt that says "stressed depressed but well dressed"

2. Have you ever been in love?

    No, I haven't yet

3. How tall are you?

    5'3...Well almost i'm 5'2.5. On the shorter end of average height.

4. Any tattoos?

    Not yet, I do want to get some as soon as I turn 18.

5. How much do you weigh?

    112 

6. Piercings? 

     Only on my ears

7. OTP

  This is a tough question. Ummmm..... Effy Stonem and Freddie Mclair from Skins second generation. If you havn't watched skins, you have to go watch it right now!

8. Favorite Show

    I have sooo many shows but right now i'm currently Obessesed with Falling Skies. 

9. Favorite Bands?

    In no particular order: Coldplay, The 1975, Imagine Dragons, Nirvana, The Royal Concept, Smallpools, Bastille, Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeroes, The Lumineers, Tegan and Sara, Vampire Weekend, Arctic Monkeys

10. Something you miss?

      When I was little my dad would buy my brother and me a Popsicle and we would go under this tree and eat the Popsicle and just hang out

11. Ever been in a fight?

     No but I punched a kid in elementary school because he was being mean and rude and an all around terrible person. 

12.Favorite Quote?

    Okay all of my freinds know this, but I legit have a quote for everything. I'm quote obsessed. But I think my favorite is "We need never be hopeless for we can never be irreparably broken"-John Green

13. What do you do when your sad?'

      I go to my room and put my ear-buds in and listen to music until I feel better. 

14. Favorite food?

     Any dessert type of food I love

15. Place you want to visit?

     I really want to go to Peru.

16. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning.

     40 min

17. Last show you watched?

      Falling Skies

18. Turn ons?

      When a guy is really sweet, likes to read, can cook, and for some reason I like guys with tattoos.

19. Turn offs?

      When a guy is rude, conceited, loud, obnoxious, and messy.

20. Last place you were?

      Palm springs. 

21. Favorite flavor or sweet? Anything chocolate

22. Favorite Accessory?

      I love wearing bows and flowers in my hair.

23. Favorite color?

     Anything Pastel

24. Favorite actor?

     Leo DiCaprio 

25.Favorite song?

     I have a billion favorite songs. The first song that pops in my head is Yellow by Coldplay

26. Reason you started blogging?

      I already rant about books I read, why not put my opinions out there and find other people who feel the same way

27.Fears?

    Heights and bugs

28. Last thing that made you cry?

      TFIOS I re-watched it this past weekend and sobbed.

29. How long does it take you to shower?

     About an hour

30. Last book you read?

      #16thingsithoughtiknew

31.Currently reading?

     The Artful

32. Last person you talked to?

      My little brother

33. Relationship with the last person you texted?

      My sister

34. Do you have a crush?

      On a real person? no. On book characters? Yes, a lot. 

35.  Last time you kissed someone?

      Middle school

36. Last time you were insulted?

      I don't remember. I guess that a good thing

37. What instrument do you play?

     I play the piano, i'm not very good at it. I used to play the clarinet too.

38. Favorite piece of jewelry:

     A long dangly necklace that has a weaving pattern on a pendant that opens to reveal a mirror.

39. Last sport you played?

      I suck at sports, so I don't play them. I do dance though.

40. Last song you sang?

      Another Story by The Head and The Heart

41. Last time you hung out with someone?

      Last Thursday

42.Every had a terrible breakup?

     No not really

43.How old are you? 

    16

44.Quality you look for in a significant other?

     Sweetness

45. Zodiac Sign?

     Taurus 

46. Loud or soft music?

     Loud

47.Favorite chat up line?

     Can I have a band aid?

     Why?

      Because I hurt myself falling for you

48. Have you ever used it?

     No

49. Favorite book?

      I have so many so i'll just list my top five. Revolution by Jennifer Donnely, Ballads of Suburbia by Stephanie Kuehnert, Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K Rowling, TFIOS by John Green,

50. Who should answer these questions next?

      Any one who reads this post go make a TMI post and put the link in the comments and i'll go check it out :)

Night Before Our Stars Review + Random Ranting/Fangirling

    Okay so my review might be a little late, but I figured better late than never.
     If you read the book you know that there is no way to watch this without bringing tissues. So I did. I walked into the movie theater, clutching the poster and the bracelet in one hand and my tissue box in the other. I read the books and I knew there was absolutely no way I was not going to cry. I have to admit I wasn't actually too worried about the movie. The trailers and John Green's approval of the movie made me feel like this could actually be a good movie
      As the movie started everyone in the theater started to scream. My friend whispered to me "all the fangirls are here right now". I replied "I know i'm one too". You could tell that everyone in the theater loved this story and where excited to see this story come to life. In other words there was a lot of screaming,"awwing", and sobbing. It was a great experience because I knew everyone in there was just like me; ready to see this beloved story come to life.
     The movie itself was amazing. Like literally I have no words to describe the perfection that is this movie. The actors really became Hazel and Gus and Issac. It felt so familiar and new all at once. I loved how true to the book the movie was. They did leave out a few things but to be honest I didn't even care. Most book to movie adaptations change the story too much, this movie didn't do that and I think that's what made everyone one love it. It satisfied the fans of the book and made those who were unfamiliar with the story fall in love with the story and the characters. The thing I loved most about it is that it kept the the message the same. It proved how a short life can still be a good one and that to live a good life you don't have to be loved by many, you just need one.
     The acting was phenomenal. The acting was so sincere and genuine. Ansel Elgort really was Gus for me. He brought out this boyish charm that I always pictured Gus having. And when the cancer came back Ansel really delivered in terms of the vulnerability and emotion. It was perfect. I legit started sobbing as soon as he brought Hazel out to the bench and uttered the saddest sentence in the history of life: "I lit up like a Christmas tree Hazel Grace". I didn't stop crying until the end. I'm not even ashamed. I'm actually surprised I didn't cry more. Shailene Woodley was so good. I sobbed when she sobbed, laughed when she laughed. It was just like the book.
     Okay now for the soundtrack. I really LOVE the soundtrack. I got it as soon as I got home and have been listening to it nonstop since. I'm listening to it right now. I'm listening to Tee-Shirt by Birdy. I think that the music really captured the emotions of the film and were perfect for the film. I can't tell you just how much I love the music for the movie.
      If you haven't watched the film yet I suggest you do, like soon. Its amazing and totally worht the tears you will shed. You will walk out feeling the same as when you read the book. You will see life and love and pretty much everything differently.     

My Rating: 4.5/5