As a professional fangirl I have amounted my fair share of ships. For those of you who don't know what a ship is, it's a relationship you really like and support. I have many ships and to be honest I'm sure that there are many I forgot and that at some point this list will change.  But as of right now these are my top ten fictional ships.

Disclaimer: while I love all these ships with all of my fangirl heart, I want to say that there's more to all of their stories than just romantic relationships.

Honorable Mentions: Elena and Damon from The Vampire Diaries, Jemma and Fitz from Agents of Shield, and Blair and Chuck from Gossip Girl.

10. Hannah and Caleb from Pretty Little Liars.

9. Rose and Dimitri from Vampire Academy. I have to admit I had a giant book crush on Dimitri. I really loved this series and this relationship still remains one of my top ships.

8. Tessa and Will and Jem from The Infernal Devices. Yes I know that there are three people in this ship. I ship Jessa and Wessa all the same. It's so hard to choose one or the other.

7. Meredith and Derek from Grey's Anatomy. I'm a giant fan of this show and although I've hated them both at different points of the emotional roller coaster that is Grey's Anatomy, they both fit so well together.

6. Cath and Levi from Fangirl. They are too cute and I can't even.

5. Lincoln and Octavia from The 100. This is one of my favorite shows of all time and Linctavia is one of my favorite ships ever.

4. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Bucky and Steve is the only couple on this list that isn't cannon and maybe won't ever be. But the truth of the matter is they are a great team. They both mean the world to the other and would do anything to help each other out. That being said I LOVE Peggy and I ship Peggy and Steve hardcore as well.

3. Mara Dyer and Noah Shaw. Noah Shaw gave me really high expectations in the guy department and remains my biggest book crush ever. That being said, Mara is one of my favorite characters ever! I love these two so much.

2. Finn and Rey from Star Wars: The Force Awakens. OMG! I love these two so much! TFA is a really good movie and I really enjoyed it. I love Finn so much, he is on of my favorite characters ever. Rey, on the other hand, I love just as much. They work so well together! I can't wait for the next installment!

1. Clarke and Lexa from The 100. I love their dynamic and the way they relate to each other. The politics of it all complicate their relationship but I feel like at the end of they day they understand each other in a way that no one else really does. I am I die hard Clexa fan and I'm so beyond excited for whats in store for this season!

Motivation Monday # 7

So I've gotten into Marvel recently. I'm not entirely sure why or how this obsession started but I'm really glad it did. I rewatched the Cap movies and fell in love with both of them and I can't wait till the third one comes out (the day before my birthday). Anyways so that prompted me to finally watch Agent Carter. I was going to watch it when it originally came out but I missed the first two episodes and then couldn't catch up cuz I couldn't find them anywhere. Finally I got my hands on the entire season and DEVOURED it. I finished it in about a day. I know I'm obsessed. Anyways, this show deals with a lot of things, sexism being one of them. Peggy is a badass but because she's a woman no one see's it. She's invisible and is treated like shit. To everyone at her job she's just another pretty face.

She proves herself time and time again but her sexist co-workers and boss refuse to see her as anything but what they painted her as. By the end of the season Peggy realizes that she has nothing to prove to anyone. She doesn't need validation from men who don't know better, who are ignorant, and quite frankly are stupid. She is above that. She doesn't need the whole world to know her name, she's happy knowing that she's saved countless people and will continue to do so. Even though the men in see her differently and treat her differently by the end of the season, they still act the same way. What I admire about Peggy is that she learned and accepted the fact that people are always going to treat her as inferior, but that will never change the fact that she is one badass, amazing, good, person. The people who see her negatively don't matter because their opinions are irrelevant she knows who she is and she done't need a medal to prove it.

I love Peggy. Peggy Carter is goals. We all live in a world where people share opinions, where people say what they think, where people disagree. Most people try and try to gain validation through other people's word that they forget that the person who has to live with it all is themselves. We often forget that the only opinion that matters is our own. We can't let other people's negativity, bigotry, or ignorance affect the way we view ourselves. So what someone doesn't like you, that doesn't make you any less awesome, it just makes them a judgmental person. This is why we need feminism. We need to fight in order to be viewed as equal. Just because some people don't see it that way doesn't change the fact that women know their value and know they deserve equality So fight against the need to make other people happy, or make them like you, or force them to see something they don't want to see. Don't waste your time trying to impress people who are just going to look the other way. You are worth more than that. You are badass, my friend. Don't let anyone's words change that.

Stay Gold,

Motivational Monday #5

So I am not dead. But i'm very sorry that I've not been posting. I blame school and testing. But now that summer's started I will be posting on schedule :) Okay but enough about me.

So this is probably the nostalgia talking, but I picked this quote because this summer is the last summer I have to just be, next year i'll be picking out a bean bag for my dorm in college and  I will be figuring out my classes and I would have said goodbye to my favorite teachers and my friends. It's more than a little scary. But with all the day dreaming about the future comes the nostalgic, sometimes tear filled glimpses into the past. This includes me cleaning out papers and binders and folders from high school and middle school. Yes I am a pack rat. And I found little notes and quotes and random little writings. I kept them. Mostly because it's nice to remember the stupid things we talked about, or the stupid boys we all liked, and the not stupid quotes that I still love. And maybe I realize that they aren't that stupid. These tiny things made me happy. These tiny things made me remember when my friend and I went to yogurtland without parent permission and ran all the way back to her apartment only to find my mom waiting for me... It made me remember about how my friends and I would sit in a circle and talk about our lives. About how we would fangirl about TVD, Once Upon a Time, Reign, etc. About how we've been sitting at the same bench for three years. And how we have one more year filled with more tiny memories that will stay with me like the post its I found in my freshman year binder.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that life moves fast and you have to look back sometimes and remember the good stuff, the happy stuff, and sometimes (most of the time) you have to notice the small things because they tend to be the more important things. I mean do you think i'm going to remember what I got on my chapter ten test in AP U.S History, Probably not. But I'll probably still remember how my friend drew me a starbucks frap with my name spelled very, very wrong, because I complained about how starbucks people can never spelled my name right. Yet  at the time my grade mattered infinitely more than the post it. So enjoy the small things, the things you might not find important at the time, the things that make you smile during the day. Because when it's all said and done those are the thing you remember and want to remember.

Motivational Monday

So it's Monday. It's usually not a day people love. But I hope It's going well for you guys. So Sprinkle of Glitter does this motivation Monday meme every week and I thought I would give it a shot and put my own twist on it.

The Harry Potter books are amazing, if you didn't already know. They have everything including some life quotes. Luna Lovegood is a strange girl who's sweet and kind and loyal. When Harry is at one of his lowest points, it's Luna who shares this little gold nugget. 

Throughout life people will walk in and out of our lives. We will lose things that meant a great deal to us, We can loose our passion for things we once loved. But just because we may have lost something that was important to us doesn't mean that good things won't happen to us.

Letter to December #6

Dear December, 

It's currently 11:30 pm and i'm very tired. It'll be tomorrow by the time you get this. I'll be at school, trying not to fall asleep, desperately clinging to my consciousness because I have in class writing, tests, and last minute teaching going on. 

School is crazy and quite frankly i'm really done with it. I know I have Winter break in less than two weeks, but right now amid all the cramming and bad teachers, I'm starting to freak out and wanting to just stop and take a breather. But as my APUSH teacher said this morning, "Now is the time to push yourself".

So here I am with no tea, not on my bed, and with no blankets or sweater near me. I'm not happy. I know it all be over soon, and I'll look back at this and just be glad I was able to say I survived. But until then I'm stuck in a circle of procrastination, going to bed late, napping, procrastination. Fun.

As much as I love you December, you also tend to bring the hardest weeks into my life. With finals and dealing with relatives on Holidays. But I just have to remember that some rough moments have to balance out all the hot chocolates, candy canes, presents, and all around festive cheer. I guess it's like they say, December, you need to have some bad to balance out the good. I think it's a good trade off, or at least I do once i'm on break. 

But for now it's time for me to go to bed and try to not hate myself in the morning for my poor life choices. Thankfully I have Christmas music on repeat and working on my master playlist! You can't ever really be sad while listening to christmas music, you know? 

Love Always, 

Fangirl Book Review

Release Date: September 10.2013
Book: Fangirl
Author: Rainbow Rowel
Genre: YA Contemporary
Source: Gift

The Basics: A coming-of-age tale of fan fiction, family and first love. Cath is a Simon Snow fan. Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan...But for Cath, being a fan is her life—and she’s really good at it. She and her twin sister, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it’s what got them through their mother leaving.Reading. Rereading. Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere. Cath’s sister has mostly grown away from fandom, but Cath can’t let go. She doesn’t want to. Now that they’re going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn’t want to be roommates. Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone. She’s got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who thinks fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words... And she can’t stop worrying about her dad, who’s loving and fragile and has never really been alone.For Cath, the question is: Can she do this? Can she make it without Wren holding her hand? Is she ready to start living her own life? Writing her own stories?And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind? (from goodreads)

Rating: 5/5


My Musings:
     I've been fangirling over Fangirl since before I even read it. I saw it on goodread and I thought to myself if i could ever have a book soulmate it would be this. Among my friends i'm known for my fangirling. It's really bad. I was in the movie theater for Catching Fire a few months ago and some of the previews were book trailers and i legit was squealing and jumping up and down in my seat. OVER A TRAILER. Speaking of trailers I can't seem to not cry whenever i watch the full trailer for TFIOS. Anyways i think I've established i'm a fangirl myself.
     Ok now for the actual review. I honestly can saw that I fell in love with this book from the get go. 
     I loved Cath's narrations and the way she thought and described things. I loved her little quirks and her nerdy personality. If she was a real person she would definitely be someone I'd want as a friend. I enjoyed reading about Cath and her journey to become her own person, become, independent, and grow up into such an awesome person. Cath relies on her fanfic about Simon Snow to help her cope with her new found loneliness and her ever present shyness.This aspect of the story was great. It didn't overwhelm the book, but served its role. We even get to read snippets.
     Character-wise, Rowel did amazing. All of the characters felt real to me and I found myself caring about each one of the characters. I think a sign of a really good book is being able to feel like the story is real and Rowel does this flawlessly. I really like all the side stories that surrounded Cath. Like her sister's story, or her dads. I adore Rowel's witty, smart and funny writing style. 
      It was interesting to read about Cath's relationship with her family. Poor Cath was thrown into college life without so much as a speck of support and kindness from her twin sister Wren. I found this sad, but at the same time I understood that booth sisters needed to find their identity outside of each other. I loved her dad! he kept pushing her to do what she needed to do but was often to scared to do. And when push came to shove I loved watching Cath's family rally together.  
      Romance time! Levi. What can i saw other than he is so perfect. I love him to bits. Especially his eyebrows lol. I like when books have a slow burning, slow happening romance because it makes it feel more real, plus you have more time to decide if you ship it. It also determines the strength of the ship. And let me tell you i ship these two so hard. The only slight issue with the book was that at the beginning of the novel i wasn't sure who was the love interest. Weather it was Levi or this other guy named Nick. Aside from the unsure-ness at the beginning, the romance was eloquently written 
Favorite Quotes:
“A little manic was what their house ran on.” 

“Underneath this veneer of slightly crazy and mildly socially retarded, I'm a complete disaster.”  

“Happily ever after, or even just together ever after, is not cheesy,” Wren said. “It’s the noblest, like, the most courageous thing two people can shoot for.”

“But you're so helpless sometimes. It's like watching a kitten with its head trapped in a Kleenex box.” 

“You give away nice like it doesn't cost you anything.” 

“Emergency dance party--go away.” 

“Levi's eyebrows were pornographic. If Cath were making this decision just on eyebrows, she would have been "up to his room" a long time ago.” 

“When I’m writing my own stuff, it’s like swimming upstream. Or … falling down a cliff and grabbing at branches, trying to invent the branches as I fall.”