From Love Letters to the Dead (book review here)

We lie all the time. We lie everyday. We lie to make ourselves feel better, we lie to spare other people's feelings, we lie to avoid the truths that we're scared might hurt. Sometimes lies do help but it's important to know that the truth isn't something that should be or even can be avoided.

You need to be true to who you are and who you want to become. So don't lie about who you are just because it makes other people happy. Don't lie to yourself about it either you'll just end up miserable and old and drinking away your feelings. So accept your own truth, accept who you are as you are, as scary as it might be. Because at then end of the day just by accepting the truth you'll be happy, and your happiness is beautiful. Like the quote says accepting your truths, the scary ones, the bad ones, the happy ones, the good ones, it just makes you, you. It makes you youer than yesterday. And you're awesome so why not try and be more you.

Don't lie about how you feel. If you like someone and their worth the risk, then tell them. If you're sad, if you feel like your world is falling apart, if you're lonely, or angry, or frustrated, or happy, then talk about it. Sometimes feeling things and being left with your thoughts can be toxic. If you need to talk to someone don't lie and say you're fine. There are people you can talk to, you're friends, you're family, maybe a teacher, hell you can talk to me if you want to. Sometimes speaking the truth about what you feel is enough to make you feel lighter because you're not a slave to it anymore.

The truth is always hard to face. But life isn't easy. But telling the truth, accepting it, it can be that little light that helps guide you to where you want to go. If you're dying to be a singer, a writer, a producer, or just a better you, hold on to that truth because it's bright and beautiful and you should trust in it because it can take you places.

TOO TOUGH TO DIE

Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
 

 Nothin' to do and no where to go-o-oh

Just get me to the airport put me on a plane. Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane

I have an obsession with muscle tanks. I don't have too many but for some reason I really love how they look and how comfortable they are. I actually have the sweatshirt version of this shirt and I love it so one of my very dear friends got this bad-ads shirt for me, for Christmas. I feel so badass with my new hair and this outfit.

These next two months are going to be crazy busy. AP tests are coming, looming over us students like the guillotine. With AP tests comes the mock AP Final thing. Which I have in a few weeks. *insert worried face here*. So as the end of the year comes towards me, teachers are cramming in material, squeezing in tests, making time for in class essay and FRQ's. I'm not ready for this. Worst of all my finals are on a weekend. Not just any weekend but their on the annual LA book festival. I know that it's not the end of the world and whatever, but I love going to the book fair, seeing authors, fingerling, watching panels, I love it. But that's the thing with school, it has a tendency of butting into your life like an overbearing friend. Please don't hate me if I don't update as much as I normally do. So wish me luck guys, I'm about to embark on the longest and craziest two months of this school year.

Muscle Tank: Forever 21 (exact) (sold out), Hot Topic (Similar)

Shoes: Charlotte Russe (similar)

Cardigan: Forever 21 (similar)

Skirt: 1.Forever 21 (Similar), 2.Forever 21 (Similar)

Short Hair Don't Care

I used to have long hair. It used to be almost to my butt. It was long and thick and a little wavy. But it was a hassle. It was a BIG hassle. But I would get compliments all the time on my hair. It took me a while to understand that the only thing people were really complimenting was how long my hair was. To be honest my hair was so frizzy and poofy that it spent most of its time in ponytails or braids.


I never really toyed with the idea of short hair. But then I decided to donate it. I didn't really care much about it at this point.
Then high school came and change needed to happen. So before freshman year was over I cut it just below my collar bone. But it wasn't enough the following year I cut it above my shoulders. I loved it. Recently I got another haircut and it's actually not that short but it's different than what I usually go for. I have bangs now. Like real bangs not hair that not long enough to be part of my hair. It's super layered. Yeah. I like it though, Its a change. I LOVE my short hair.

A lot of people think that it's impossible to be feminine or sexy with short hair. They tie this whole idea of being a woman with having long hair. When in reality you hair shouldn't define how feminine you are. My hair isn't that short. But I would love to go shorter. Get a bob maybe. I was dared to get a pixie cut. Who knows what i'll do with my hair in the next couple of years?

before I cut my hair this week

Anyways I think it's so stupid how much crap people can give you when you think about cutting your hair short. By the time high school started the longest part of my hair reached my waistline (I had layers). I needed a change. So much had happened to me, I had overcome a lot of stuff. So I figured what better way to show how much I changed than with a haircut. I toyed with the idea from about December till May. I asked people what they thought. Everyone I talked to save like three people said DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR. They said my hair was so pretty long, why would I want to go short. With my friends, family, and acquaintances all telling me to keep my long locks I decided maybe they were right. Then I googled to see the pros and cons. Clearly I was not the only one trying to figure out if it would be worth it.

post haircut

The internet was definitely NOT helpful in this case. If anything I was even more indecisive. People were saying guys like longer hair, short hair is unfeminine and unattractive. Guys AND girls were saying this. So then all I was thinking was would it really be that bad to have short hair. Everything and everyone was telling me how my hair was a sign of my femininity. I didn't understand why I couldn't be girly and have short hair. Why people were freaking out over me cutting MY hair. Thankfully I had three people in my corner telling me to go for it. Then it hit me. Why was I trying to find validation in other people. If I wanted to do something for me why did it matter if other people agreed with me. Why did it matter that the internet was telling me that no guy would like me with short hiar. I was doing this for me. So why did it matter what everyone else was saying. 

post haircut

So my sister, for my birthday took me to get my hair cut. It was an awesome experience. With every snip my hair became shorter and all those people telling me not to do this were silenced. Because when you do things for you and you try new things no one else matters. It was great. Now no one can picture me having long hair anymore. No one can even remember what I looked like with long hair my freshman year.

Quick Pro's of having short hair:
Short hair is great. It takes less time to style (for me anyway) because it's okay if your hair looks messy/ I love how short hair looks with hats. As a California girl it makes dealing with the heat a lot easier. There's less hair to manage. No more crazy clumps of hair in the shower or on your brush. Plus it's a fashion statement. It brings more attention to your face.

 You should never let someone else's thoughts, society's idea of an ideal person, stop you from being you. So do you boo. Be happy. If you want to cut you hair GO FOR IT> worst thing that can happen is you hate and have to wait till it grows back again. If you have long hair and love it! GREAT. As cheesy as it sounds hair, clothes, it's all a way to show people what type of human we are. Why let stupid people tell you show to live your life or how to express yourself. Don't confine yourself to the stupid, unrealistic, biased, beauty ideals that society creates.

Femininity is more than just the way we act, dress, or style our hair. We shouldn't have to put labels on people just because they don't fit that cookie cutter mold. So stop listening to society because our society is 50 shades of fucked up, stop trying to validate your actions by looking for a approval with your friends or family, you'll be happiest when you do things that make you happy not other people. I gotta say I love my short hair and I don't really care what people think anymore.

Top Ten Books I Would Revisit From My Childhood/Middle School Years

Most of these books on my list I read in elementary school or middle school. The reading bug didn't bit me until a later in life. I actually used to not be a fan. But I just hadn't read the right book or found the right genre. Anyways there are a lot of books I love and would love to reread, so here's my list.

1. The Inkheart Series. These were some of the first books I fell in love with. I remember I read them in elementary school. These were some of the first books that made me want to stay up all night to read. As a 10 year old I had a "bedtime" so I used go to the bathroom and read in there so I wouldn't get in trouble. 

2. Hold Still. I don't really have words for this book. Sometimes life kind of just sucks and you find something, a song, a book, a person, you can relate to. This was kind of one of those books for me. 

3. Before We Were Free. My sister gave this to me as a present and the story just was so amazing, raw, that it both broke my heart and made me fall in love with it.

4. Ever. This book was the book that made me actually enjoy reading. Before this book I didn't know it was possible to care so much about characters. 

5. Twilight Child. This is definitely a sorely underrated book which sucks because it's so good. The cover is really striking and the story is even more so. It's about a girl with the ability to see faeries and her life. It's actually really good, there's action, love, drama, friendship and all that jazz. 

6. East. I'm not really sure what it was about this book, but I picked it up and fell in love with it. It's this weird love story that at times but it's a good one. The main character, is strong and bad-ass and trust me there are a lot of cute swoon worthy moments.

7. The Graveyard Book. SO GOOD. This book is amazing. I pretty much gobbled it all up. I have my older brother to thank for this. He actually made me a list of book he wanted to read and he even said he'd pay me (not that he did or that I remember). But this book was just amazing!

8. Esperanza Rising. I don't really remember how I got my hands on this book but I'm so glad I did. This isn't some fluffy YA book. It's an important story that for a lot of people was their actual life and it touched mine.

9. If I Stay. This book had a profound effect on me. I read it when I was about 12 and it changed a lot of things for me. For one my expectations for a boyfriend increased because Adam.

10.  13 Reasons Why. Reading allows people to see things from a different perspectives. I didn't really understand suicide or what it meant to be so sad then I read this and wow. I think I was 11 or 12. This is one of my favorite books but it's also one of the most heartbreaking books i've read. As much as it made me cry, it's a book I hold dear and would like to revisit

11. The Sumoning Series. I LOVED these books. I devoured them as a middle schooler. I even met Kelly Armstrong and totally fangirled. If you love fantasy you'll love this series. 

 Hosted by the Broke and Bookish 

Thank You Glee

My older, wiser, and only slightly cooler sister loved this show when it started. Naturally as the younger sibling I was curious and checked this show. It wasn't love at first sight I must admit. I wasn't a huge fan at first but then somehow I ended up part of this crazy, amazing fandom.

It's a show, essentially, celebrating being different, weird, not part of your average clique. As an 11 year old girl who was part of band, ballet, and read books for fun, well you can see how this ended up appealing to me. It's been a crazy journey but I feel like i've kind of grown up with these kids. It's been a heartbreaking journey filled with laughter, inside jokes, fangirling episodes, and moments yelling at the T.V. It's been awesome.

Not going to lie, this show has had it's problems. One of the reasons I love this show is because it ventured into the parts of life that most people would rather not talk about. It deals with issues in the world, in our lives. But they haven't always been able to pull it off and end up misrepresenting it. (Marley and eating disorder that lasted 3 episodes, Unique and that catfish storyline was just terrible, the girls on the show never being able to be single and strong(they always either have a boyfriend/relationship or want one)) Yet they still have brought issues to light. We are all people. We might love different people, we might identify different ways, but that doesn't make us any less of a person. We need to accept each other for what we are and what we aren't. We need to remember we are all just people trying to find some glimmer of happiness in this world. Seasons 4 and 5 weren't that good but this season, oh it's been amazing. It's brought it back to what I know and love. This season has been for the fans, every episode every song, it's been for us and the world that that loves glee and it's gleeks.

I went to Paleyfest last week and saw the first half of the last episode. Not going to lie, I cried. Pretty sure some of us audience members were even full on sobbing.  There's this moment, at the end of the first half were Finn shows up in the original clip of Don't Stop Believing. And that was it. I just lost it. I'm excited for the last bit. I know it's going to be amazing That's whats amazing about a T.V show, they can make you care so much about characters and you feel like you could be friends with them.

I'm so proud of all the character. They've all come so far. The deserve to be happy after everything they've been through. They are amazing and I love them. The road hasn't been easy but I've gone down it with them and they've become such great people. I'm so proud of all of them, Rachel, Kurt, Blaine, Quinn, Sam, Mercedes, Brittney, Santana, Becky, Sue, all of them.

Despite all the ups and downs this show has had it's still a show about the "losers", "nerds", "outcasts" and celebrates them. I think what this show has done is amazing! I love how it deals with so many things, from teen pregnancy, not getting into the college you want, loss,being  transgender, or being gay or lesbian or bi. Glee is about being "losers", glee is about shipping Klaine and Britanna, Glee is singing along to your favorite covers, Glee is rooting for the New Directions, Glee is about accepting ourselves, reaching for the stars, and making your way in the world. It's really an awesome message. So here's to you Glee, thanks for 6 seasons of awesomeness, fnagirling, tears, laughter, and most of all the push to learn to accept ourselves and let the world see us the way we are, flaws and all.

It's hard saying goodbye. I'm going to miss seeing Rachel and Kurt and Blaine and everyone one T.V singing with them, rooting for them, dancing with them, crying and laughing and every emotions in between. Glee club is about disregarding the things people label us as and accepting ourselves as we are. Needless to say I'm going to be revisiting this show on Netflix a lot. I love you Glee and Thank You for the countless lessons, advice, and courage to help me accept myself. Goodbye Glee.

Waiting on Wednesday #5

Release Date: June 16, 2015
Book: Every Last Word
Author: Tamara Ireland Stone
Number of pages: 368

The Basics: If you could read my mind, you wouldn't be smiling. Samantha McAllister looks just like the rest of the popular girls in her junior class. But hidden beneath the straightened hair and expertly applied makeup is a secret that her friends would never understand: Sam has Purely-Obsessional OCD and is consumed by a stream of dark thoughts and worries that she can't turn off. Second-guessing every move, thought, and word makes daily life a struggle, and it doesn't help that her lifelong friends will turn toxic at the first sign of a wrong outfit, wrong lunch, or wrong crush. Yet Sam knows she'd be truly crazy to leave the protection of the most popular girls in school. So when Sam meets Caroline, she has to keep her new friend with a refreshing sense of humor and no style a secret, right up there with Sam's weekly visits to her psychiatrist. Caroline introduces Sam to Poet's Corner, a hidden room and a tight-knit group of misfits who have been ignored by the school at large. Sam is drawn to them immediately, especially a guitar-playing guy with a talent for verse, and starts to discover a whole new side of herself. Slowly, she begins to feel more "normal" than she ever has as part of the popular crowd . . . until she finds a new reason to question her sanity and all she holds dear.

Add it on goodreads

Why do I want to read it?

First of all the cover is beautiful and understated, but what got me to look at the summary was the title. It's short and sweet. The story seems so dark, yet cute. The summary is so good, i'm sure the book will live up to it. I'm a suker for cute love stories but I have a feeling this is going to be more than that. It's going to deal with real issues in life, the type of issues no one ever really wants to talk about. 

Waiting on Wednesday is hosted by Breaking the Spine

What Are You Waiting On?

WICKED

"I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game"

The Ceiling in the Pantages was beautiful! 

"I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so"

The Stage for the performance. It's a map of OZ. I thought it was pretty cool.

" I do believe I have been changed for the better and because I knew you"

"But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you..."

Wicked is amazing. The story is so raw and real and even funny. It's essentially the untold story of the Wicked Witch of the West. It deals with discrimination, scapegoating, power, love, friendship and the effect it can have on people. It's a beautiful story that I fell in love with. I'm not going to lie, I've been listening to the soundtrack non-stop. Speaking of the music, the voices in this show is incredible! I saw this last week at the Pantages. Oh my, I was in awe of the beauty, strength, and sheer emotion in their voices. It was an amazing thing to witness. This is the type of story that kind of just sticks with you. Because we all are like Elfaba (the wicked witch), outsiders, weird, or maybe we're like Glinda (the Ga is silent lol) sweet, bubbly, a bit self centered. There's a character, I think, that everyone can relate to and in the span of two hours completely fall in love with. The characters pull at your tender little heartstrings. 

The music and the story line created this whole new world with characters you couldn't help but relate to, root for, and love. This was definitely an experience I will always hold dear to my heart. My sister went out of her way to give my brother and I an experience that not everyone get's to well experience. I'm lucky, I'm extremely fortunate and so happy I was able to go see this beautiful story come to life. 

My Outfit

Skirt: Forever 21 (sold Out) Similarish Here and Here

Crop Top: Forever 21 Exact

Shoes: DD shoes Exact 

Scarf: J.C Penny Exact 

Purse: Gift Similar Here Here and Here and Here

T.V Shows I'm Obsessed With

I love stories. That's part of why I read books. But I also love watching movies and shows. As a fangirl I get really into shows. I'm told I get intese and it can be pretty entertaining watching me fangirl and freak out over a show or a recent episode or ship. My goodness I have SO MANY SHIPS at the moment. Its a wonder that my fangirl emotions haven't drowned me yet. Anyways, here's my list, hope you fangirl with me too! (Here are some Netflix obsessions and top ten shows of the summer)

1. The 100. Can we talk about that season finale? My head is still reeling. This is kind of like Lost meets Hunger Games. It's pretty cray. No one is really safe on the show and you never really know what to expect. I'll be watching it and all of a sudden I'm yelling at my T.V, or sobbing into my pillow. The events on the show put my life in perspective a lot of the times. Like why am I worried about my Unit test when Clarke or Jasper or Bellamy are in a life and death situation. Despite the emotional roller coaster this show puts me through, I love it. It's so good and I love it and the characters so much! I even wrote a letter to Clarke Griffin.I love all the strong women on the show. It's awesome to see people depicted without bias or prejudice.

2.Blacklist. I can't even deal with this show. It's freaking crazy. I love Red, I love Liz. I think this show is amazing and I love all the mystery and stuff behind every episode. It leaves you with so many questions you can't help but stay glued to the screen and wait and pray for next Thursday to come faster. 

3.Reign. I finally caught up and I'm watching the live episodes now. Wow. That's all I can say about this show. The girls on the show are so strong. Like they have to be bad ass while wearing corsets and heels. Now that's hard.

4.The Vampire Diaries. This show is da bomb diggity. I love Damon, he's my favorite character. He's so sassy and sarcastic and bad-ass I can't help but love him. This season has been really good! It kind of went through a lull, but it's back it's craziness.

5.The Originals. I have to admit sometimes I like this show more than TVD. It's really good and I love all the dynamics on the show. No one is really safe on the show and you never know what to expect from any of the characters. 

this poster is so dramatic! I love it!

6.Glee. It's the last season! I can't believe it. The past season wasn't good and I really didn't like it but I LOVE this season. I love the new kids. While some things were a little ehh and not so good this season I still think it's pretty good.

My fangirl emotions are overwhelming right now

Alright! That's it! Hope you enjoyed my post! Tell me what your T.V obsessions are at the moment!

If You Liked Perks of Being a Wallflower You'll like These Ten Books

I love The Perks of Being a Wallflower, it's one of my favorite books of all time. For today's TTT, in case the title didn't give it away, I'm going to be listing ten books that I think are perfect for coming of of post PBW depression. If you liked the Perks of Being a Wallflower, you'll like ten Contemporary YA books. 

10. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowel. This is so much more than just a love story. It's a tragic tale of two outsiders trying to belong somewhere, and that somewhere just happened to be together. It's an amazing book and will tug at your heart strings.

9. If I Stay by Gayle Foreman. I LOVE this book so much. When I first read it I was literally a pool of tears. My emotions where everywhere. The sequal is good too, and definitely dragged me back down into the sadness the first book brought. This one does isn't nearly as dark as The Perks 

8. Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. At first I wasn't a big fan of the book. But the more I got into it, the more I saw the main character, Samantha, develop the more the story sunk it's sad paws on me. By the end of it I can safely say I was crying and frustrated (in a good way)

7.Crash and Burn by Micheal Haasan. This book is freakin amazing. It's real and raw and sad and gritty. It's not a book you'd read to find a happy ending, But it's oh so good. 

6. The Spectacular Now by Tim Tharp. Equal parts tragic and funny. I love Sutter. He's just one of those characters you can't help but want to help, be their friend, and be there for them. The story is amazing. I definitely recommend it, but I will warn you, the ending is so not what you'd want. Here's my Review

5. After Ever After by Jordan Sonnenblick. This is book two in a series but I feel like you could read both books seperatly and admire and love both of them. The first is called Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie. This book is amazing. It's funny and it focuses on healing and moving forward. Yet this book still managed to break my heart.

4. It's Kind Of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini. This book killed me. I'm a ghost now. It's such an amazing and sad and sometimes funny and crazy and my fangirl emotions are overwhelming me right now. It's a book that everyone should read.

3. The Outsiders by S.E Hinton. I had to read this in 9th grade. This book really stuck with me the same way The Perks did. It's a story that everyone should read. It's really good and worth tearing up and crying over.

3.5 Rules by Cynthia Lord. I love this book so much. There aren't many books like this one.  I remember when I read it, I fell in love with it because I could relate so much to the main character, 

2. Love Letters to The Dead by Ava Dellaira. Its hauntingly beautiful. The book itself is simple and the writing isn't anything special, but I think it makes the story line and the actual words stand out so much more. It's simply sad I guess. Here's my book review. 

1. Looking for Alaska by John Green. I love John Green. I love TFIOS. I love Looking For Alaska too. It's gritty and raw like The Perks, but has hope sprinkle here and there. It's sad and tragic and funny even. This book is on point. Here's my playlist for the book. 

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and Bookish

Photo Diary: February Memories

March is here. Kinda crazy, kinda not. On the one hand I can't wait for this school year to end, but I'm not quite ready to be a senior in high school next year. Amazing how life can kind of just sneak up on you. I've seen photo diaries on a couple other blogs and I though I would give it a whirl. Let me know if this is something y'all would like to see! 

It's been cold here in SoCal, for a change. I love every sweater wearing minute. Big, cozy scarf are always a winter essential and a Rainy Day must! 

Not too recently my sister came to visit and it was pretty much a Giselle Day. Which means I got to pick everything we did. So it was a perfect day for me. We went to the Last Book Store (see picture Below), Native Foods (vegan restaurant), then chilled at the beach. My sister and her amazing photo skills created this picture. It took a lot of work trying to not get my maxi skirt wet. I somewhat succeeded. 

The Last Book Store in L.A is literally beautiful. It's just amazing. Every type of book you could think of was in this store, and everything about this place makes it a work of art. So glad that I got too scratch this off my bucket list!

I have a thing for chai latte's . I have a thing for having coffee dates with friends. Last Firday, my best friend and I, went to this Vintagy part of town and chilled at what I guess is called "Ladies Night". There were food trucks every where that sold pretty much everything. I even bought a cupcake from a particularly pretty shade of pink. 

My best friend and I don't go to the same high school so it can make it hard for us to hang out. But we always seem to manage. It's nice to catch up and just talk.

Life's, been pretty good to me this month. I'm as busy as ever and crazy as always. March is going to be a CRAZY month. I kid you not I have something going on every week until April. Both academically and in my personal life. I'm looking forward to what this month is going to bring in terms of fun memories and crazy stories, just not so much the not sleeping and the abundance of work. \

Today I'm going to go see Wicked the musical and i'm so excited!!! Next week my sister has a surprised planned, so we'll see how that goes. Not to mention I have two tests, a quiz, and four blog posts to write next week. The week after that it the week of my dance concert which mean rehearsals all week. What I'm getting it is if i'm posting sporadically this month it's because of all the craziness and the new level on insane my life has reached. 

 Anyways, have a happy Friday, do something to make yourself smile, be loud, be happy, and wich me luck, cuz i'm wishing you guys luck this month! Follow me on instagram :)

DFTBA,

Waiting on Wednesday #4

Release Date: April 7, 2014
Book: Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda
Author: Becky Albertall

The Basics:Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now Simon is actually being blackmailed: if he doesn’t play wingman for class clown Martin, his sexual identity will become everyone’s business. Worse, the privacy of Blue, the pen name of the boy he’s been emailing, will be compromised. With some messy dynamics emerging in his once tight-knit group of friends, and his email correspondence with Blue growing more flirtatious every day, Simon’s junior year has suddenly gotten all kinds of complicated. Now, change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he’s pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he’s never met.

Add it on Goodreads 

Why do I want to read it?

I think this is an interesting story. I think this might be a really cute love story and I'm always a sucker for love stories. It sucks that our society still doesn't really accept the LGBT community and I think stories like this help make it known what's like to be in another person's shoes.

Waiting on Wednesday is hosted by Breaking the Spine


What Are You Waiting On?