Dear December, 

It's currently 11:30 pm and i'm very tired. It'll be tomorrow by the time you get this. I'll be at school, trying not to fall asleep, desperately clinging to my consciousness because I have in class writing, tests, and last minute teaching going on. 

School is crazy and quite frankly i'm really done with it. I know I have Winter break in less than two weeks, but right now amid all the cramming and bad teachers, I'm starting to freak out and wanting to just stop and take a breather. But as my APUSH teacher said this morning, "Now is the time to push yourself".

So here I am with no tea, not on my bed, and with no blankets or sweater near me. I'm not happy. I know it all be over soon, and I'll look back at this and just be glad I was able to say I survived. But until then I'm stuck in a circle of procrastination, going to bed late, napping, procrastination. Fun.

As much as I love you December, you also tend to bring the hardest weeks into my life. With finals and dealing with relatives on Holidays. But I just have to remember that some rough moments have to balance out all the hot chocolates, candy canes, presents, and all around festive cheer. I guess it's like they say, December, you need to have some bad to balance out the good. I think it's a good trade off, or at least I do once i'm on break. 

But for now it's time for me to go to bed and try to not hate myself in the morning for my poor life choices. Thankfully I have Christmas music on repeat and working on my master playlist! You can't ever really be sad while listening to christmas music, you know? 

Love Always, 

Letter to December #5

Dear December,

Sometimes you don't even realize how fast time goes until your standing and wondering where exactly it went. You kind of snuck up on me. I was just minding my own business thinking the end of the year was so far off, but in reality its not. Now I can feel the pressure to do well on my finals even more than I did last year. I'm kind of freaking out. 

It's starting too feel more and more christmas-y everyday. My family and I put up our Christmas Tree on Saturday. I decorated it with my mum, while everyone else slacked off. That's okay, I don't mind. Decorating is one of my favorite things. Once I finished the tree I put up tinsel and lights and ornaments and wreaths all around the living room. I went a little crazy. But I do that almost every year. I decorated my room as well. I have a mini Christmas tree, Christmas lights up with ornaments hanging them as well as tinsel. I LOVE IT. 

Isn't this beautiful! Lol this isn't mine, i'll put up a pic soon!

Everything is moving by so fast December, I don't know how to hold on to anything anymore. It seems the more I cling to my memories of yesterdays the faster time escapes me. I guess that just means I have to be more focused on the here and now. Like I was yesterday when I was trying to make it seem like Christmas threw up in my house. I even changed my screen saver to a Christmas print thing.
I was caught in the moment, letting life engulf me, letting Christmas thoughts whirl around my head. Maybe I should listen to Elsa and let go a little bit. 

Love Always, 

Book Talk: Melt by Selene Castrovilla

Release Date: November 6, 2014
Book: Melt
Author: Selene Castrovilla
Pages:280
Source: Netgalley (I received this in exchange for an honest review)

The Basics: Based on true events, MELT is both a chilling tale of abuse, and a timeless romance. MELT will hit you like a punch in the face, and also seep through the cracks in your soul. MELT is a brutal love story set against the metaphorical backdrop of The Wizard of Oz (not a retelling). When sixteen year old Dorothy moves to the small town of Highland Park, she meets, and falls for Joey – a “bad boy” who tells no one about the catastrophic domestic violence he witnesses at home. Can these two lovers survive peer pressure, Joey’s reputation, and his alcoholism? Told in dual first person, Joey’s words are scattered on the page – reflecting his broken state. Dorothy is the voice of reason – until something so shattering happens that she, too, may lose her grip. Can their love endure, or will it melt away?

My Musings:

I had pretty high expectations from this book. Everything about the summary caught my eye and attention. It seemed to be profound and inspiring. So I wanted to read it. To be honest I was kind of let down.

The plot, I felt like was a little rushed at times, but it was original somewhat. The very first few pages of the books are crazy and get you sucked into the story. The fact that this is based on a true story makes it that much more crazy, heartbreaking, and captivating. I liked how the story unfolded, even if it was a little predictable. I liked the alternating perspectives. It's always fun to see a story from multiple points of view. If i'm being totally honest I kind of wish we could have seen Dorothy and Joey's relationship develop more. It kind of just happens. At one point they end up just being together, you don't really get to see them get to this point. It's a soft spot in the plot because it's hard to be sympathetic to their relationship when its underdeveloped and rushed. Especially since their relationship is the main point of the story.  However, I will say this, if you can get past the whole rushing of the relationship, the ending is pretty good.

 I have to admit I really disliked Dorothy's chapters. I'm not sure why, but her character just annoyed me. She seemed emotional, dependent, and pushy at times. I couldn't connect at all really with Dorothy's personality. She just irked me. I LOVED Joey so much. He's strong, sweet, and actually really sweet. He's a good person and a good boyfriend without being overly dependent on Dorothy. I loved reading his chapters because they were so simply written, but they explained such profound things. I looked forward to reading his chapters and seeing what went on in his head.

One thing I did like about the novel is that even though this book is about a relationship, it still develops both of them as separate people. You get to understand Dorothy because she's put into different situations with Joey. You get a real feel for the type of life they lead and the type of person they are. Personally, I think it strengthens their relationship, because if you can see where each of them come from and how the end up meeting in the middle, the story is just that much cuter.

I liked Dorothy and Joey together. Despite the fact I didn't really like Dorothy, I did like her with him. I wished their love was a little bit more developed in the beginning, but it makes up for it, kind of, towards the middle.

Overall, I was disappointed with the book. I liked aspects of it, but I can't help but feel that it was rushed. I think the readers needed to see more of the relationship, more of the characters, for the story to feel real.

Coffee For Melt: A Nice Hazelnut Latte. 

My Rating:

Letters to December #4

Dear December,

Change is hard to come by sometimes. Sometimes it just sneaks up on us. Sometimes its illusive. This is one of those times.

There is so much injustice in the world. I'm lucky that I don't have to deal with with it as often as other people. But as a Mexican woman i'm bound to deal with terrible people saying terrible things. As i'm sure other people have had to endure. The reason I wanted to talk to you about this is because of the whole thing with Mike Brown and Eric Garner.

It's so frustrating to hear someone's life being taken and no one doing anything about it. It makes me angry that so many people, people we're supposed to trust end up hurting the populace. It's sad more than anything. Because families are without members. Because there's one less person at the dinner table. Because a lives was lost. 

I'd like to think the world has come a long way. That we've evolved into good, better people. Clearly that not the case. In the U.S people are getting killed because of their skin color, Where's the fairness in that? In Mexico 43 students were murdered. Where's justice in that? People everywhere are rioting, and banding together in protest.  

Things are crazy. I look at the world and I get sad that things like this happen. I lose faith in humanity, I begin to think there is none left, just shells. It's hard to see good when all I ever hear about is bad. We hear about cyber bulling, murder, racism, sexism, rape...

Change starts with a ripple. People are making themselves heard. It's the first step, and hopefully real change will come of it. Everyone needs to play their part. People need to spread the message. People need to get informed. People need to listen to those who need to be heard. People need to taking action and not just sit around waiting for change to happen

Love Always,

Letters to December #3

Dear December,

I have the sniffles. I think. I'm a mess of cold symptoms. In other words I feel like crap. I hate getting sick. I'm not sure what i hate most, staying at home doing nothing but be sick or going to school and being sick. Both suck. But only one causes me more trouble. Staying home one day, means I miss a day of lectures, which isn't good considering we're down to the wire. 

It's weird the last three months have gone by so fast and I've been so busy the last three months. Like Blogtober14, or NaNoWriMo, and now these letter's to you.I always seem to be working on some sort of project recently. I'm not sure why that is, or if this little trifecta will repeat itself next year. I hope it does. As busy as I was and as much as I hated myself for it during those months, i don't think I've ever felt more capable or productive. It's a pretty awesome feeling. 

So I'm taking medicine trying to get better and making sure I can soldier the next day. Life goes on, sick or not you have to be there. Music helps, as do the blankets and sweaters that surround me. There's something nice in just laying in bed watching Netflix and being happy with life. It's a completely other thing to be laying in bed surrounded by tissues struggling to find something on T.V. For me, as much as I love being unproductive, I hate doing nothing. It's weird I know, I don't even thing I make sense. What i'm trying to say, and failing at, is that I might be unproductive and stuff, but that doesn't mean I want my day to be wasted doing things I don't want/need to do. 

Maybe i'm just being a complainer... Any anyway.... December, why am I always sick when you come to visit? It's quite frustrating for us both. I want so badly to just enjoy this time, but that cough is always holding me back. Hopefully i'll be up on my feet soon. 

Love Always,

Letter's To December #2

Dear December,

It's been raining like crazy all day. It never rains in Southern California. So seeing the pavement glitter, the bedazzled tree leaves, the gray sky, it's all kind of a novelty to us Cali people. Well it is to me. I love it though. I love the melancholy feel, the chill, the pure rashness of the rain. I'm just about the only one. Many of my friends hate this weather, and, December, I don't get it. 

I got wet today. My hair was stuck to my face and my sweater was darkened by the water. My mother was not pleased, but I was happy. I'm still that five year old who just wants to go splash in puddles and feel the rain on her face. It's strange how somethings just don't change. Like i don't think I'll ever just magically start liking carrots, or stop wanting to read. Yet there are so many aspects of us that time twists and rearranges. Like I have short hair now. I love reading contemporary now. I'm love artichokes. Most of the time these changes happen gradually until one day it's like "wait when did that happen". I guess it's true when they say that life sneaks up on you. 

I came home, changed into my p.j's and had some tea which was perfect for a gloomy day like today. I love coming in from the rain about just as much as I like playing outside in it. I'm currently wrapped in my blanket, avoiding the pile of homework waiting for me. December, the end of the year is near and there is a lot of pressure to make the last three weeks of school count. I'ts starting to get to me. The rain helps. Its just washes away my worries.

Love Always,

Dear December,

Winter's here, but you knew that already. I love the chill air, the gloomy days, the jumpers and boots. This is my season. I had this idea when I was watching Carrie Fletcher's Letter's to Autumn. I figured that you, my lovely December, might need some company too. So I find myself sitting on my bed, clutching a mugful of tea trying to type this letter out. 

It's been raining in Southern California. I can actually feel winter here which is strange because It almost feels like Autumn never happened. It never really got too cold. And now all of a sudden I find myself wrapped in sweaters and scarves. Oh how I love it! I'm excited for the month, to see what it brings. 

It's time to bust out a Christmas tree, sing some Christmas carols. It's time to look back on the year, now that it's coming to an end. It's time to buy presents and cram for finals. It's time for me to buy cough drops and movies. My life's been so busy lately, with Blogtober, then NaNoWriMo, and now Letter's to December. This year has been good to me, so let's end it with a bang.

Love Always,