Dear December,

It feels like a long time since I last talked to you but it's only really been a week and a half. And how eventful was that week and a half. I volunteered to put together care packages for families in need, I took my finals, I went Christmas present shopping, I went to Disneyland. It's been great! Let me tell you this month has been a whirlwind of craziness and it's not even over yet.

For the past four years I've been part of a club that allows it's members to give back to it's community. This is really important to me. Every year since I've been a part of it I've been part of our holiday drive. It's our biggest event and my personal favorite. While our packaging day is long and crazy it's so worth it. That day was a really long day but it was great to be able to give back and do something meaningful. After packaging was over I went to my little brother's bad concert which was great except he missed the first song because he was late. *shakes head*. He's had a run of bad luck recently. But once he showed up on stage, he did really well. 

I've now been to Disneyland a total of three times; once when I was too young to remember, once when I went with my middle school band, and once last Friday. I think there's something to be said about feeling an infinite sort of moment. The entire day felt like a dream. I went on roller coasters and little kiddie rides and I felt really happy. I loved being able to be a kid and have fun without a regard about what comes next. That's what I love about you, December, I have the liberty to be as childish as I wish and be happy within that scope. I can be crazy about my holiday decorating, I can wear a a whipped cream mustache without being embarrassed, I can find the joy in the little details and smile like a dork. December is a time where you can look back and be happy about the year you've had, the past years you've lived, and find your inner kid amidst all the holiday cheer. 

I'm listening to Christmas music and i'm freaking out about college apps. With one chapter of my senior done and sealed with the end of my exams it's bloody insane to think that I'm at the end of my high school career. While high school is not something I would willingly relive, it's still bittersweet to be at the end, about to leave. Finals, as usual were stressful, but there was a new tinge of finality to these exams that made me both REALLY happy and sort of sad. 

A week and a half. That's all it took to end a chapter, to start a new one, to go to the happiest place on earth. December, you've been good to me, so thanks.

Love always,

Letter to December #10

Dear December,

Sometimes all you need is a nice big breath, a cup of tea, and an afternoon of nothingness. Now, I've always been one to keep busy. I like running around doing errands, making plans, scheduling things etc. But for a moment, just a tiny one I sat down, tea in hand, and just relaxed and surprisingly enough I enjoyed my moment of nothingness. 

Of course, December, it didn't last long. I went to target not soon after to go Christmas shopping. With finals done, school on pause, I finally have time to get presents and make them. This is my favorite time of the year and it almost makes up for the head splitting-ness of finals week. But it got me thinking, maybe it's time for me to take a deep breath and look around me. I don't think I do it enough. 

People are always doing things. That, I think sometimes, we get so focused on tasks, that we forget the big picture. We forget that we are living breathing people who are living their lives. I know it's cliche but I don't think anyone really stops to smell the roses anymore. And then at random moments, we'll just think "Holy Shit, This is my life". For me it hit me yesterday. With a mug in hand, and nothing to do, it hit me that this is actually what i'm doing with my life, my time, my energy. And I wish I would have stopped more and just taken in the moments, instead of living life on super speed, busy as a bumblebee. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I need to be more in touch with the big picture of it all. I focus to much on the tiny details that won't matter in ten years. I focus on the small things so much I forget that I need to take a breather sometimes. But better late than never, right December?

Love Always,