I started this post with the intention of doing a motivational Monday post then realized that this was more of a rant/opinion/here are my thoughts on this quote thing. To be frank this post feels a little all over the place but it sas fun to write so i hope ita fun to read.
This quote is one of my favorites from one of my favorite movies and books "This Is Where I Leave You". I watched the movie first and just had to read this book. This quote stood out to me because I could relate to it, it struck a chord, cheesy as that sounds.
This is my senior year. The last year of the most stressful years of my life to date, then again I've only been alive for 17 years. I keep waiting for all of that to just hit me. For me to just wake up and realize that soon i'm going to have to try to be a functioning adult, It's probably not even going to actually hit me until I'm at prom, at graduation, at move in day. I'm going to look back and realize that I'v actually grown up already. That I've let go of being a kid. And it's sad. It's sad to think about the things I've given up, that everyone has to give up to be an adult, to be grown up. It sucks so much. Just because I'm turning 18 next year doesn't mean I'm full fledged adult, it just means I have to take care of more things and let go childish notions and ideas. It's sad.
It's sad when you realize Santa Clause isn't real. Or when Halloween becomes less about dressing up for fun and getting candy and more about parties. Or when you realize your parents aren't perfect. It's a sad regardless of what type of childhood you had. It sucks even more when you have to grow up faster, when you have to face things as they are instead of being carefree. It tragic and sad and it sucks.
You grow up and you don't even realize it. You grow up everyday and it isn't until you look back that you realized just how much you really changed. I'm different than the freshman me or the 7th grade me. I'm not the same person. We all joke sometimes about how we cringe at our younger selves but it's usually within those laughs and smiles that we realize that somewhere down the line we realized that that hair wasn't for us, that that shirt was a little embarrassing, and that we were a little immature. At that time we were just the purest version of ourselves that we knew how to be. And at the time it was okay. Now we understand what looks good on us, we understand more about fashion, and we understand more about ourselves and life. In someways growing up is not bad because we just become who we are and know ourselves better which is never a bad thing. Thing is we grew up and we grew out of that version of us. We let go of friends and find new people, build a new version of who we think we need to be. Suddenly people's opinion matters more, suddenly the media and society matters more.
The world tends to want to mess people up. People tend top suck. Growing up tends to be tragic. There's so much trade off happening while the years pass. That's not to say there aren't good moments, but I think sometimes we forget to appreciate those moments as what they are.
I'm scared to grow up and mess up somewhere down the line. I'm scared of what's going to happen once I've left home and let go of a lot of what defined me as a person. Part of growing up is being able to define yourself through your own terms and that's ten different types of terrifying. Thing is growing up isn't just tragic for me or you it's sad for those who are around us.People watch us become who we are and see what we go through to get there. It's sad to see a kid become jaded. It's not always sad to watch people grow up, but it is sad to let them go once they do.
I get caught up in the sadness of moving on sometimes. Growing up is sad and tragic but there are good things that come from it. The experiences that force you to mature help serve as examples for future reference, to help teach you more about yourself. Its easy to focus on what I might lose versus the fear of what I might not gain. It's weird . I guess what i'm tying to say is that it's okay to feel sad about this because it is sad. It's okay to be upset and scared and anxious, that's part of growing up, feeling the emotions that you could avoid knowing as a child. 18 isn't a magic number. I'm not going to be an adult just because I'm 18 but list definitely the biggest leap I've taken towards adulthood I've ever taken. It's scary for the most part. Growing up, as sad as it is, is also really terrifying.
It's important to realize the sadness of growing up but embracing the chance to become someone you want to be in this world. Maybe you want to be extraordinary, or maybe you are okay being ordinary. That's all great. I know I talked a lot about why growing up sucks but I think there's something beautiful in there somewhere. I survived high school, for better or worse the me now has survived the most stressful, and surprisingly not too sucky four years of my life so far. There's something awesome in surviving in thriving, in becoming someone better, someone you could be proud of a few years ago or a few years down the road. There's beauty in tragedy sometimes. Experiences give way to who someone wants to be and we have to take those moments on. Growing up sucks and being an adult on only really a little fun from what I gather, but that doesn't mean something good can't come out of it.
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